I hold this truth to be self-evident: No one is created equal. I also realize that this self-evident truth is so heretical these days, people want to kill you merely for expressing it.

Equality is our modern religion, the glue that holds our shaky social coalition together, and it is never to be questioned. The notion of innate blank-slate human equality must be supported with torch mobs and moral panics and mass delusions and speech codes, because there’s nothing”€”not a shred”€”in science or logic to support it.

Egalitarianism cannot operate like a science, because there is nothing scientific about it. Since it goes against human nature and biological reality, it eventually must depend on totalitarian tactics in order to sustain itself. In the philosophical realm, it is not supported by logic, so it must operate like a religion instead.

With all this in mind, I have coined two new handy neologisms:

EGALITOTALITARIAN -n 1. One who believes the false concept of equality must be vigilantly enforced by rule of law, whether federal or that of posse comitatus.

EGALIANITY -n. 1. A strict religious system based on the myth that all people are born with equal cognitive and physical qualities.

Every religion needs a Devil, and the Church of Universal Human Equality depends on the utter dehumanization of a stock character called “the racist.” This term used to mean any white male wearing a brownshirt; these days it signifies any white male who isn’t constantly flogging himself while clad in a hairshirt.

The same people who say they’re against organized religion are all card-carrying members of the Church of Universal Human Equality, which is perhaps the best organized, most well-funded, and least tolerant mythological system on Earth. I don”€™t even think Islam can compete.

I don”€™t think you anti-racist white witch-hunters wrapped in your golden curtains of righteousness and riding your pale little white ponies hate “€œracists”€ so much as you hate heretics. And my guts tell me that 100 years ago, you would have all been in white racist lynch mobs while I would have been the one crazy white guy in town trying to stop you. That’s because you are herd animals and I”€™m forever swimming upstream. Rather than social revolutionaries, way down at the bottom of the tailbone of your souls, you are conformists. Drones. Worker ants. Oooh, how I despise you.

You”€™re right that I have hate in my heart. But you”€™re wrong about the target.

I get along fine with my black neighbors. It’s you, Mr. & Mrs. Snarky White Hipster Anti-Racist Witch Hunter Scooter Club 2012, that I truly hate.

I hate the gross selectivity of your witch-hunting and the fact that you amplify certain racial crimes while blotting others from your collective memory banks.

I hate your movements and your petitions and your boycotts and your perpetually selective outrage. I hate your group shaming, your ritual self-shaming, and the constant status-jockeying that you can only seem to achieve via shaming others.

I hate your endlessly gluttonous lust to punish sinners for committing racism, sexism, and homophobia.

I hate this thing you call “evil” that is always somehow safely quarantined outside of yourself.

I hate the fact that you creeps live your lives with your noses ass-deep in the perceived sins of others.

I hate the primitively moralistic screenplay inside your head where one side is always presumed guilty and the other side is always innocent.

I hate your gross displays of public moral preening.

I hate that you marginalize and dismiss ideas not because they’re wrong, but because they don’t flatter your herd’s self-image.

I hate the fact you”€™ve created a climate of fear where opinions that huge swaths of the public seem to sincerely hold in their hearts are currently forbidden to even discuss in public forums.

I hate the horrid unreality of your deluded optimism and half-baked utopian schemes.

I hate the special hatred you reserve for those braver than you are.

I hate your arrogant tendency to frame any ideological dissent as a mental-health issue or a cancer of the soul rather than a simple disagreement.

I hate your shallow outrage at people not for saying something that’s false, but because they dared to even say it aloud.

I hate your undying obsession with the presumed guilt and turpitude of others.

I hate your strong urge to punish anyone not like you.

I hate that you are only willing to hate what it’s socially acceptable to hate.

I hate that you don”€™t even realize you operate like a lynch mob. But you”€™re worse”€”too chickenshit to do the lynching yourself, you instead enable certain currently endemic forms of racist violence by refusing to acknowledge their very existence.

I hate that I tell you what I am, and you still don”€™t believe me.

May you choke to death on your own smugness.

We are doomed, indeed.

You silly white-liberal wabbits, always looking for hate in all the wrong places, never realizing that my loathing has almost always been exclusively reserved for you”€”only you, and you alone.

There”€”I”€™ve explained myself.

Understood? I hope so. Now get off my lawn.