October 09, 2016
Bill Clinton
Source: WIkimedia Commons
RENAMING “NEGRO BILL HILL” AND “NIGGER ROCK”
In Moab, Utah, the Bureau of Land Management”which shares an acronym with Black Lives Matter”has renamed “Negro Bill” trailhead as “Grandstaff Trailhead,” in honor of black cowboy William “Negro Bill” Grandstaff.
Nestled in Quebec just north of the Vermont border, Nigger Rock reportedly conceals a mass grave of black slaves from the 18th century. Black activists are torn on whether Nigger Rock should be renamed, with Black Coalition of Quebec president Dan Philip saying that it should remain Nigger Rock because “changing the name won’t change history.”
THE PROBLEM OF RACISM AMONG INDIAN SPIRITUAL LEADERS
Mohandas Gandhi is known the world over as a skinny, bald-headed, nonviolent man of peace who referred to black Africans as “savages” who live in “indolence and nakedness.” He also wrote that “the white race in South Africa should be the predominating race.”
Due to such clearly unacceptable and gallopingly problematic comments, government officials in Ghana are removing a Gandhi statue from a college campus.
You also may be shocked, horrified, and possibly even triggered to learn that Baba Ramdev, described as the “single most influential yoga teacher in India, if not the world, is a right-wing activist who campaigns against homosexuality, promotes Islamophobia, and advocates for religious nationalism. Ramdev has described homosexuality using such spicy terms as “unscientific,” “unnatural,” “uncivilized,” “immoral,” “irreligious,” and “abnormal.”
ANOTHER SWEDISH POLITICIAN, ANOTHER JEW JOKE
Carina Herrstedt, deputy vice chairman of the anti-immigrant Sweden Democrat Party, is in hot water for emailing the following “anti-Jew joke” to a friend:
First you get a couple of Jews, because under law it is forbidden to persecute them. You strengthen the team with a negro, a Chinaman and and an Indian, because they”re more colourful. At the rear, you recruit two gays, to have more force from behind. As the goalie you deploy a 40-year-old nun, because she hasn”t let anything in for 40 years. As reserve goalie, you get a gypsy, because they take absolutely everything!
Forgive us for noticing, but it doesn’t seem as if Jews were the only group mentioned in that joke.
The Jew-joke kerfuffle came a mere two days after the Sweden Democrats’ finance spokesman was found laughing on a recording as he recalled how he once observed German coworkers in an abattoir kicking dead sheep while calling them “the Jews.”
And that scandal came a mere week after Swedish Democrat Anna Hagwall earned scorn for claiming that “no family, ethnic group, or company should be allowed to control more than 5 percent of the media.”
MAN USES SMALL-PENIS DEFENSE IN ATTEMPT TO WRIGGLE OUT OF RAPE CHARGE
An Ottawa jury is hearing defense testimony suggesting that accused rapist Jacques “Porkchop” Rouschop could not possibly have raped two women due to his “remarkably small” penis, which a nurse confirmed is only one inch flaccid and two inches erect. When contrasted with the fact that Rouschop’s waist is 66 inches, it does not stretch credulity to wonder whether he would even be able to penetrate a thimble.
In China, an 18-year-old groom-to-be was rushed to the hospital after inserting his penis into his wedding band and getting it stuck there for two days. Using “giant pliers,” firefighters were able to remove the tiny wedding band from the man’s presumably diminutive schween.
SATAN’s AFTER-SCHOOL CLUB FOR KIDS
Selected elementary schools in Oregon and Washington will now feature After School Satan Clubs for children. The clubs are sponsored by an organization calling itself the Satanic Temple. School districts are bound by law to host the clubs because they are only permitted to exclude any organization that features “hate speech, incites violence or includes pornography.”
Got that, kids? Satan is OK; Hitler and Ron Jeremy are not OK.
