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The Week’s Most Dysgenic, Unhygienic, and Inauthentic Headlines

UNITED NATIONS: “€œSTOP TRUMP”€
The United Nations is a wonderful organization that was built upon World War II’s ashes and exists to assure that Adolf Hitler never, ever EVER rises from the grave. And as everyone on Planet Earth has been reminded for the past year, Donald J. Trump is the evil bastard demon reincarnation of Adolf Hitler.

Last Thursday evening, the United Nations News Centre tweeted that “The 8 million Americans abroad could stop Trump” by filing absentee ballots and voting for the barking twat-monster Hillary Clinton. The tweet was deleted within twenty minutes. Ari Gaitanis of the UN News Services division claims that the tweet was a “mistake” and that it “did not originate from the UN News Centre” even though, you know, it was posted from their Twitter account.

The “mistake” certainly had nothing to do with the fact that Trump’s candidacy is the biggest obstacle to the soul-crushing globalist nightmare that agencies such as the UN hope to force upon the world’s ungrateful and unwilling rubes.

Back in August, members of the United Nations’ Working Group of Experts on People of African Descent”€”whatta mouthful!”€”issued a report urging that the United States pay reparations to black people for all the mean, nasty, inconsiderate, rude, spiteful, hurtful, passive-aggressive, and thoughtless things that have been done to them on American soil since the early 1600s:

In particular, the legacy of colonial history, enslavement, racial subordination and segregation, racial terrorism and racial inequality in the United States remains a serious challenge, as there has been no real commitment to reparations and to truth and reconciliation for people of African descent….Contemporary police killings and the trauma that they create are reminiscent of the past racial terror of lynching.

Apparently an estimated $8.3 trillion in welfare payouts to black Americans since the 1960s represents “no real commitment to reparations.” Why haven’t conditions improved? According to the aforementioned People of African Descent, it’s because “The dangerous ideology of white supremacy inhibits social cohesion amongst the US population.”

Ripping a page from their globalist masters at the UN, the editorial board of USA Today bucked a tradition of never taking sides in a presidential race and told its voters that Donald Trump is “unfit for the presidency.” Claiming that Trump is an “erratic” and “dangerous demagogue” who has “coarsened the national dialogue” and “traffics in prejudice,” the paper’s editorial board unanimously declared that he’s a charlatan and a scoundrel and a monster and a demon and a goblin and a very very very bad person.

SEXIST HALLOWEEN COSTUMES FOR DOGS DEEMED PROBLEMATIC
The Washington Post, which abandoned all pretense of journalistic objectivity by assigning twenty reporters to dig up dirt on Donald Trump but not Hillary Clinton, continues to ask the important questions.

“Is your dog’s Halloween costume sexist?” blares the headline of an article written by a certain Abha Bhattarai:

The glass ceiling appears to be firmly in place at PetSmart, where career costumes labeled “€œmale”€ include firefighter and police officer, while female dogs can choose between a pink cowgirl costume and pink loofah.

This is the same alleged newspaper that featured an article in April called “Don’t laugh: I have a serious reason for raising my cats gender-neutral.”

Taking a cue from such bastions of objectivity as the Washington Post, the University of Oregon’s Daily Emerald published a hard-hitting, truth-digging essay last week called “Why pockets are sexist.”

STUDENT ARRESTED FOR WEARING GORILLA COSTUME AND HANDING OUT BANANAS
Despite all we’ve been through as a country”€”all the wars that were waged and all the blood that was spilled in the name of progress”€”some people still think it’s funny to dress in gorilla costumes and taunt black people with bananas.

Last week at the world-renowned East Tennessee State University, 19-year-old Tristan Rettke disrupted a Black Lives Matter protest by suddenly appearing in a gorilla outfit, whereupon he “unspooled a rope and attached a banana to the end, dangling it in front of the stunned students.” While allegedly laughing because he apparently thinks that racial hatred is funny, Rettke told the horrified crowd: “I identify as a gorilla.” He was promptly arrested and charged with disorderly conduct.

In Oregon, an alleged “Neo-Nazi and Donald Trump supporter” was also charged with disorderly conduct after disrupting an “Anti-Hate” rally hosted by the Springfield Alliance for Equality and Respect by blasting loud messages from his rooftop. The messages included:

Hate is good. Hate gives us a reason to exist. We can even pass hate onto our children and keep hate alive for centuries.

The suspect, James Larry Marr, made headlines back in 2009 when Oregon officials revoked his vanity plates that read “NO ZOG!” after they realized what “ZOG” was.

OREGON HIGH-SCHOOLERS RECEIVE “WHITE PRIVILEGE SURVEY”
High-school students in the Portland suburb of Aloha, OR recently received a homework assignment about “white privilege” that was ostensibly designed to foster peace and healing and reconciliation but which one parent claims was designed to “shame you for being white.”

According to Jason Schmidt, whose son attends Aloha High School,

I think he should be learning actual education and not be a part of some social experiment or some teacher’s political agenda….With the amount of money we pay for schools, they should be educating not indoctrinating our students about the latest political fad or political agenda a teacher wants to get across.

In response, countless white residents of the Portland area”€”one of the nation’s whitest and most resolutely ethnomasochistic cities”€”shamed Mr. Schmidt for being white.