Stone Mountain carving

COLLEGE ISSUES APOLOGY FOR SERVING MEXICAN FOOD
South Carolina’s Clemson University recently came under fire for being insensitive enough to host a “Maximum Mexican” night during which students were served fine Mexican cuisine served by sombrero-wearing cafeteria workers. “Our culture isn’t a costume and we will not be mocked!” screeched one student who probably resembled a hybrid of Speedy Gonzalez and the Frito Bandito. An official at the school promptly apologized and claimed the event offered a “flattened view of Mexican culture.”

WEATHERMAN SUSPENDED FOR TALKING ABOUT THE WEATHER
The word “denial” is a clever deception that implies whomever questions an official narrative silently agrees with it but is lying about it just to get attention and be a jerk. This refers to “climate denial” as well as “Holocaust denial” and the inevitable “equality denial.”

Philippe Verdier, France’s most popular TV weatherman, has been temporarily suspended from his job after releasing a book claiming that climatologists have “taken the world hostage” and that government-funded climate research data is routinely “manipulated and politicized.”

USING BRAIN MAGNETS TO CREATE PRO-IMMIGRATION ATHEISTS
Scientists at the University of York recently conducted experiments using a technique known as transcranial magnetic stimulation”€”which is already being used to treat depression”€”in order to partially deactivate areas of the brain that Mother Nature in her immense wisdom designed to respond to threats.

After applying a large electromagnetic coil to volunteers’ scalps and zapping the designated brain areas, researchers found that test subjects were far less likely to believe in God and to oppose immigration.

Some see this as an encouraging development in the quest to create a placid, supine population of pro-immigration atheists. Others refer to it as “electronic lobotomy.”