November 27, 2016
Washington D.C.
Source: Bigstock
FAT BLACK WOMAN: “WE DON”T NEED WHITE PEOPLE LEADING THE DEMOCRATIC PARTY NOW”
Symone Sanders is a fat black woman who used to be a campaign spokesman for Bernie Sanders”no relation (we think). Bernie Sanders is known for publicly capitulating to fat black women. When Symone Sanders was consulted about who should replace documented liar Donna Brazile”another fat black woman“as DNC chairman, she suggested fat black man Jaime Harrison and Keith Ellison, who is not quite as fat nor as black as Harrison but makes up for it by being a Muslim. Miss Symone told CNN:
And in my opinion we don’t need white people leading the Democratic party right now. The Democratic party is diverse, and it should be reflected as so in leadership and throughout the staff, at the highest levels. From the vice chairs to the secretaries all the way down to the people working in the offices at the DNC.
When asked about the recent videotaped beating of a white man by blacks in Chicago who called him “white boy,” Sanders said, “Oh my goodness, poor white people.”
Dearest Odin, if you”re listening, please keep placing women like Symone Sanders in high positions within the Democratic Party.
POST-IT NOTE INVESTIGATED AS HATE CRIME
As further evidence that it might be a good idea to bulldoze all the nation’s colleges and build them anew from scratch, a humble Post-It note at Edgewood College in Madison, WI has led to a police investigation on hate-crime charges.
After the election and all the nation’s ultra-sensitive and deeply brainwashed students began blubbering and asking for Teddy bears, officials at Edgewood College encouraged their soft-bellied pupils to post about their super-important feelings on a “designated table.” The nefarious Post-It note in question was instead left in the window of the Office of Student Diversity and Inclusion and stated simply:
Suck it up, pussies! ;P
The “;P” is an emoji supposed to represent a winking face with the tongue sticking out.
Apparently the pussies weren”t willing to suck it up, so now there’s a hate-crime investigation.
ANTI-GAY, PRO-TRUMP HATE-CRIME HOAX OF THE WEEK
Each new week of the Trumpenreich will undoubtedly bring a bumper crop of staged hate crimes. Even though to our knowledge, Donald Trump has never said anything anti-gay and even openly tried to court their fruity and endlessly aggrieved community, it is gay people who seem most terrified that they will be randomly dragged off and beaten by Trump’s brownshirts.
This week’s Trumpty Dumpty Fake Fairy Hate Hoax comes to us via an “openly bisexual Chicago student“ who claims she found several homophobic notes taped to her door. “This is a countrywide epidemic all of a sudden, she told an NBC News affiliate. “I just want them to stop.”
As we established last week, there are only two discernible countrywide epidemics at the moment: that of Trump supporters being physically assaulted, and that of Trump’s opponents staging fake hate crimes. We just want both of them to stop.
STUDY: MASCULINITY IS BAD FOR MEN’s HEALTH
A highly faggy-sounding study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology claims that the more “sexist” a man is, the more he is likely to be mentally ill. An analysis over more than studies concluded that the more a man shows signs of “self-reliance,” the less likely he is to seek mental-health counseling.
But this may not be a sign that he’s “mentally ill””it may simply mean that he thinks psychology is for pussies. What seems scientifically true beyond the shadow of a doubt is that the study’s lead researcher, a certain Joel Wong, has never had to struggle with masculinity.
