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STUDY: MORE HISPANICS IDENTIFYING AS WHITE
A recent Pew research study says that 57% of American Hispanics believe in demonic possession and that a full 44% agree that “magic, sorcery, or witchcraft can influence people’s lives.”

Another Pew analysis claims that compared to the year 2000, Census results from 2010 show that a net 1.2 million additional American Hispanics identified as “white” rather than as “some other race.” This led Mary Sanchez of The Kansas City Star to wonder: “Are Hispanics in danger of becoming white?” Given their superstitious nature and low mean IQ, one may have better reason to fear that America is in danger of becoming Hispanic.

EARWAX-EATING DEMOCRATIC CONGRESSMAN: “COMMUNISM WORKS”
Representative Joe Garcia (D-FL) was caught on tape earlier this month apparently eating his earwax, although he claims he was merely nibbling on a hangnail. He was also recently taped comparing El Paso, TX, the nation’s safest large city, with Juarez, Mexico, which sits right across the border and is allegedly “the world’s most dangerous city.” Garcia claims that Democrats have “proved that communism works. … If you give everybody a good government job, there’s no crime.” Garcia later backpedaled and said that it is “just ridiculous” and “an absurdity” to accuse him of “believing in communism.” Either way, El Paso may not remain safe for long. Last week Mexican cartels apparently vandalized two billboards in that city with open threats to Texas lawmen.

DUMB WHITE RAPPER WEARS ILL-ADVISED JEW COSTUME, APOLOGIZES STUPIDLY
Exceedingly dimwitted white rapper Macklemore, who rails against “homophobia” and “white privilege,” found himself accused of anti-Semitism after appearing in Seattle to perform a song called “Thrift Shop” wearing “Jewface””€”a bowl haircut, a fake beard, and a huge hooked nose. He quickly apologized and said he did not intend for his costume to be “anti-Semetic [sic].” He even referred to the ADL as an “incredible” group. The ADL accepted his groveling apology and, at least for the moment, did not zap him with their infamous Evil Zionist Sterilizing Death Rays.

ANOTHER WAITRESS, ANOTHER HATE-CRIME HOAX
Last year a lesbian waitress in New Jersey caused a hubbub when she claimed that customers stiffed her of a tip due to her sexual orientation. This was later revealed to be a hoax. Now in Tennessee, a black waitress at a Red Lobster restaurant who claimed a takeout customer failed to tip her and wrote “nigger” on the receipt is being sued“€”along with the restaurant chain”€”for $1 million after a handwriting analyst concluded that the customer’s writing sample did not match that on the ticket. Protip: If your restaurant server appears to be anything other than a white heterosexual male Christian, you should tip them lavishly or face a public firing squad.