Conchita Wurst

POPE KARL THE FIRST
Last Friday during a speech in front of UN officials, Pope Francis bemoaned a global “economy of exclusion” and championed “the legitimate redistribution of economic benefits by the state.” The Soros-funded mind-control factory Think Progress, which typically never hesitates to bash Christianity in all its manifestations, cited biblical passages in its approval of the Pope’s redistributionist sentiments.

THE BEARDED DRAG QUEEN OF EUROVISION
Conchita Wurst, a bearded Austrian drag queen whose parents named him Tom Neuwirth, won the Eurovision song contest and dedicated his victory to “everyone who believes in a future of peace and freedom…we are unstoppable.” For the time being, it appears that you and your ilk are unstoppable, Mr. Neuwirth, but all things must pass. Oh, for the good old days when men were men, women were women, and drag queens didn’t have beards.

NORTH KOREA: OBAMA IS A “WICKED BLACK MONKEY”
North Korea’s Central News Agency continues churning out some of the planet’s most colorfully worded government propaganda, as evidenced by a recent press release titled “Divine retribution for the juvenile delinquent Obama!” Highlights include:

He is a crossbreed with unclear blood….[Obama] still has the figure of a monkey while the human race has evolved through millions of years….[He] does not even have the basic appearances of a human being….[He is a] wicked black monkey….It would be perfect for Obama to live with a group of monkeys in the world’s largest African natural zoo and lick the bread crumbs thrown by spectators.

THE NFL GOES GAY
Since it’s undeniable that the biggest problem that modern sporting events suffer is an unforgivable lack of men who suck penises, it was heralded as a cultural breakthrough when the St. Louis Rams drafted the openly homosexual defensive end Michael Sam in the seventh round on Saturday. Cyd Ziegler of OutSports.com spat forth the following homily:

It means that no child will ever grow up in a world where there is no such thing as a gay pro football player. That’s pretty powerful.

If you say so, Cyd. Some may find it to be pretty trivial.

BAGEL BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU
Newsweek published a rather brave piece alleging that “Israel has been caught carrying out aggressive espionage operations against American targets for decades” but that such underhanded shenanigans have been “hushed up” through baseless accusations of anti-Semitism and the fact that DC politicians in both parties are sold out to the Israeli lobby. Israeli officials denied the allegations, as if anyone expected them to confess.