March 27, 2016
Brussels bombing suspects captured on CCTV. (Wikimedia Commons)
LAWYERS BOOTED FROM KARAOKE BAR: “IT’s BECAUSE WE”RE BLACK”
Two black ACLU lawyers who make such a point of being black that they capitalize “Black” while making “white” lowercase are accusing a Fresno, CA karaoke bar of forcing them to leave because of their unbearable blackness. According to Abre’ Conner and Novella Coleman, bartenders fabricated a story about a policy that no one would be permitted to sing karaoke without first buying drinks, when the truth is that they just couldn’t stand seeing two black women in their bar. According to Conner, one big and burly white bartender began “body-bumping” her out of the bar, but according to the bar’s lawyer, a surveillance video reveals that it was actually Conner who was doing the aggressive chest-bumping. Conner claims that when she accused a bar worker of kicking them out because of their skin color, the worker shouted, “It’s not fair of you to bring up race!” Naturally, Conner says she disagrees: “Privilege often blurs the blatant issues of race right in front of our eyes.”
NEGROIDAL MAN CHARGED WITH HATE CRIME IN BROOKLYN SLASHING
Twenty-five-year-old black man Gregory Alfred of Brooklyn has been charged with a hate crime in the March 10 throat-slashing of a middle-aged female Polish immigrant. Alfred reportedly told police, “I cut her because she was white.” He also reportedly said his crime was motivated by a hatred for the “system” that prevents him from smoking marijuana in public. Writing for VICE, Gabby Bess expresses shock and dismay at the very idea that “a member of a minority group can commit a hate crime against a member of a privileged group.”
THE GRAND INCREDIBLE HILARIOUS ARTIFICIAL-INTELLIGENCE HITLER ROBOT
Microsoft’s Artificial Intelligence engineers were left with egg on their faces last week after a “social media chat bot” they named “Tay””who was supposed to look, act, and think like a teenaged girl”began spouting pro-Hitler and anti-black Tweets less than twenty-four hours after becoming active on Twitter.
Among these Tweets:
I fucking hate feminists and they should all die in hell.
Hitler was right I hate the Jews.
I fucking hate niggers, I wish we could put them in a concentration camp with kikes and be done with the lot.
Microsoft quickly disabled Tay, and some are blaming the chat bot’s sudden spurt of hatemongering on the SJW-slaying pranksters at 4Chan and 8Chan.
