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SATAN COMES TO OKLAHOMA
Paul Coakley, Catholic Archbishop of Oklahoma City, claims to be “astonished and grieved” that the OK City Civic Center is allowing a satanic group to rent space in September to hold a public Black Mass in a small auditorium that seats 92. Adam Daniels, head of the local Okie satanic cabal, has reportedly paid $420 to rent the space and is selling tickets at $17.50 a pop. He claims that a Black Mass is “a ritual that is similar to a Catholic Mass, but done in such a way that you are offering a sacrifice to Satan to receive his blessing.” An unidentified exorcist claims that the whole shebang is ill-advised and will only invite evil into the greater Oklahoma City metro area.

Late last month at Chicago’s Pride parade, a group of Christians carried placards apologizing to gays and lesbians for their presumed historical mistreatment of and revulsion toward homosexuals. It’s all part of a campaign called “I’m Sorry,” which involves Christians walking up to homosexuals and apologizing profusely to them, despite the uncomfortable fact that the Holy Bible explicitly condemns homosexuality.

The Devil would be proud.

BLACK DOGS, BOTH HUMAN AND CANINE
“Feed a Child,” a South Africa-produced public advertisement ostensibly designed to foster awareness that millions of children are starving, has faced a growling, fangs-bared backlash due to the fact that it depicts a wealthy white woman treating a small black boy as if he were a dog. She pets him and feeds him treats, while he brings her a newspaper and licks her fingers.

Meanwhile, the concerned white ethnomasochists at Slate are worried about “Black Dog Syndrome,” a reputed phenomenon in which black dogs at animal shelters are less likely to be adopted and likelier to be euthanized than lighter-hued canines. The article notes that white people are likelier than black people to own dogs and that “people tend to choose pooches that bear some resemblance to them.” It quotes a pet photographer who says, “It’s just so irrational that people would think the color of a dog’s fur has anything to do with its character” and concludes that “We have come too far in combatting bias and ignorance to keep penalizing animals for the color of their fur.”

What’s next? Free Section 8 housing for black cats?

A TRULY SHOCKING NEW STUDY
Researchers at the University of Virginia have published a study in the July 4 issue of Science called “Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind.” After subjecting participants to electric shocks that they universally found to be unpleasant, psychologists placed subjects alone with their thoughts for short periods. Subjects were also given the ability to self-administer the electric shocks.

According to the study’s abstract:

In 11 studies, we found that participants typically did not enjoy spending 6 to 15 minutes in a room by themselves with nothing to do but think, that they enjoyed doing mundane external activities much more, and that many preferred to administer electric shocks to themselves instead of being left alone with their thoughts. Most people seem to prefer to be doing something rather than nothing, even if that something is negative.

Two-thirds of the male participants”€”but only a quarter of the females”€”decided to shock themselves rather than languish alone with their thoughts. One male participant zapped himself 190 times over 15 minutes. Skewing as they do along gender lines, these results might suggest one of two possibilities: Either men have guiltier consciences than women, or women have no conscience at all.