July 26, 2015
Source: Shutterstock
HULK HOGAN TAPS OUT AFTER “N”-WORD SCANDAL
Pro wrestler Hulk Hogan”real name Terry Bollea”is the latest superstar to go down in flames for saying the word “nigger.”
According to multiple accounts from reporters who claim to have heard audio from an alleged sex tape between Hogan and the voluptuous Heather Clem“wife of Hogan’s wrestler friend Bubba the Love Sponge Clem”Hogan mentioned that a “black billionaire guy” had offered to sponsor his daughter Brooke Hogan’s musical career. Hogan is quoted thusly:
I don”t know if Brooke was fucking the black guy’s son. I mean, I am racist to a point, fucking niggers. But then when it comes to nice people and shit, whatever…. [I’d be OK if she dated an] eight-foot-tall nigger worth a hundred million dollars! Like a basketball player!
Although Hogan’s lawyer claims that the Hulkster resigned in the wake of these comments being leaked, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) says they fired him. And although he’d been the sport’s most popular star for decades, nearly every trace of his existence was removed from the WWE’s website.
“Nigger” is clearly the most expensive word in the English language.
IT’s NOW A “HATE CRIME” TO THROW SEMEN AT WOMEN
Police allege that Christopher Hinds of Port Jervis, NY threw “foul smelling liquids” containing his own semen at women and a young girl on three different occasions at a shopping plaza earlier this summer. In addition to an array of other offenses, Hinds is being charged with Criminal Mischief in the Third Degree as a Hate Crime. A prosecutor explained that the Hate Crime charge was justified since Hinds picked his victims solely because of their gender. By that reasoning, every male-on-female rape could be potentially classified as a hate crime as well. And if you rape a black woman, well, that’s one sex crime and two hate crimes. Clearly the hidden purpose of all these “hate crime” laws is to force white men to start throwing their foul-smelling semen solely at one another.
THE SINISTER MISOGYNY THAT LURKS WITHIN AIR CONDITIONERS
Esteemed publications such as the Washington Post and The Telegraph recently conducted some groundbreaking journalism that blew the lid off the nefarious conspiracy to torture aspiring female executives into frozen silence by running air conditioners on high in offices across the planet. Apparently women have a mean hand temperature nearly three degrees lower than that of men, so they get chillier more easily, which is why the old boys’ network has conspired to keep female workers in their place by rendering offices as cold as meat lockers. There is obviously no depth”nor temperature”to which the patriarchy won’t sink.
