Shrek

Source: Wikimedia Commons

The Week’s Dingiest, Stingiest, and Cringiest Headlines

CANADIAN TRANNY SHRIEKS AT “SHREK”
If you’re a young “transgender man” in Canada who’s hoping to have a nice evening out with your mom watching a local production of Shrek: The Musical, you should be aware that”€”TRIGGER WARNING”€”the play includes the repeated use of a highly transphobic word that is often used by grease monkeys to describe an automobile’s transmission.

That word is “tranny.”

Ky Greyson, 20, was born a woman and, to be honest, would still register as a woman if her DNA were given to impartial lab technicians to determine her gender. But Ky insists on being called a man. While attending Shrek: The Musical with her mom recently in Halifax, Ky nearly swallowed her cheek piercings when the “Big Bad Wolf” character was repeatedly referred to as a “tranny” during the play’s first act. Ky refuses to enunciate the offending term and instead calls it “the T-slur”:

It was really a good production, but I remember hearing the word used and the entire crowd bursting out laughing and just my heart dropping….That word was dropped and it’s used as violence against trans-women specifically. But just in general it brings up a lot of bad emotions and feelings of transphobia in me and the community….Just the idea that this character who was supposed to be a man dressing in a dress and how funny that was, hearing kids laugh about it”€”it was all very overwhelming.

Well, some people are easily overwhelmed, aren’t they? And some people definitely can’t tell the difference between words and violence, either.

Greyson says it took her a week of persistent nagging before being able to air her grievances to one of the play’s producers, who immediately apologized and changed every instance of “tranny” in the play’s libretto to “hairy” instead. At press time, the hirsute community was unavailable for comment.

In other news relevant to this alleged civil-rights issue, a Minnesota couple is suing an academy in St. Paul for sexual discrimination because their son”€”a kindergarten student, for crying out loud”€”“now presents as a transgender girl” and allegedly wasn’t placed inside an Eternal Bubble of Happiness to protect him from “gender-based bullying and hostility.” Without being very specific, the couple accuses the school of denying “our child’s right to undergo a gender transition in a safe and timely way.”

Finally, Ringo Starr“€”universally adored for being the ugliest and least talented Beatle”€”has joined Bruce Springsteen in refusing to perform in North Carolina due to their bill that would prevent men who pretend they’re ladies from using the ladies’ room.

AVID PROPONENT OF THE “€œISLAMOPHOBIA”€ TROPE NOW SAYS “€œOOPS”€
Trevor Phillips was the head of Britain’s Equalities and Human Rights Commission from 2003-2012. In 1996, Phillips conducted a survey that became a report titled Islamophobia: A Challenge for Us All. Phillips is viewed as one of the people who popularized the very concept of “Islamophobia.”

But years of hard experience and a recent poll of British Muslims have led Phillips to do an about-face on the topic. Among other findings, the poll found that a majority of British Muslims think that homosexuality should be illegal; a quarter of them favor the introduction of sharia law in Britain.

Phillips writes in the Times:

Liberal opinion in Britain has, for more than two decades, maintained that most Muslims are just like everyone else….But thanks to the most detailed and comprehensive survey of British Muslim opinion yet conducted, we now know that just isn”€™t how it is….We predicted that the most lethal threat to Muslims would come from racial attacks and social exclusion. We completely failed to foresee the urban conflicts of 2001 that ravaged our northern cities. And of course we didn”€™t dream of 9/11 and the atrocities in Madrid, Paris, Istanbul, Brussels and London….Some of my journalist friends imagine that, with time, the Muslims will grow out of it. They won”€™t.

Well, it’s good to admit when you’re wrong”€”but maybe not so good if it’s too late to do anything about it.

HILLARY CLINTON JOKES ABOUT “€œCOLORED PEOPLE’s TIME”€
Wearing an odd yellow top that made her look like the bastard love child of Kim Jong-un and a microwavable yam, Hillary Clinton recently stepped in a big steaming pile of racial doo-doo with New York Mayor Bill de Blasio at the Inner Circle dinner in Manhattan.

During a scripted moment, Clinton ribbed de Blasio for taking so long to endorse her for president. “Sorry, Hillary,” said the tall crypto-communist and miscegenator. “I was running on C.P. time.”

(Depending on whom you ask, “C.P. time” stands for either “cotton-pickin’ time” or “colored people’s time,” and both are meant to imply that black people are chronically late. The term has existed for at least 100 years, which is simultaneously horrifying and terrifying when you consider that these obviously untrue myths about black laziness and tardiness have persisted for so long.)

Clinton’s punch line was that “C.P. time” stood for “cautious politician time,” but hardly anyone laughed, especially the serial pearl-clutchers and smelling-salts-sniffers at Gawker and Salon.

WHITE PRIVILEGE AS A VIRUS
At Iowa State University, a group of students calling themselves Leaders United for a Change recently penned a letter to the school paper claiming that “white privilege” is a “sickness,” a “virus,” and a “disease” that needs to be eradicated from the campus. Among the unearned privileges that favor white students over others is that white students “can get your hair cut wherever you want” and “can walk into the supermarket and find your favorite foods.” The letter concludes:

White privilege is so ingrained in our society that there’s no way that we could cover this epidemic in one letter to the editor. But don”€™t be scared. While there is currently no way to cure white privilege, there are definitely ways to deal with the symptoms. Educate yourself. Don”€™t expect your minoritized [sic] friends to explain your privilege to you. Innoculate. [sic] Educate others. Be an ally. And rest assured that we are working hard to eradicate the disease here on campus.

Obviously the most sensible way to avoid this “virus” would be to quit fleeing those Third World hellholes whence you came, no? 

Meanwhile, an essay in Quartz alleges that there is a “scientific way to train white people to stop being racist””€”namely, the Harvard Implicit Association Test, which we proved years ago is a completely unscientific scam. Since the very term “racism” is unscientific and entirely subjective, it would naturally follow that there is no “scientific” way to measure it, much less eradicate it. The article goes on to claim”€”without a scintilla of evidence”€”that white people “are overwhelmed by feelings of guilt, shame, and blame.” But even though it concedes that “it’s not your fault that you were born white,” you should “resist your defenses and keep listening.”

No. Our defenses are there for a very good reason.