Kesha

CRIME: BABY IN A BAG, GUNMAN IN A CLOWN SUIT
Seventeen-year-old Tania Rodriguez, stopped by a security guard at Victoria’s Secret in Manhattan on suspicion of shoplifting, was found to have a dead fetus in her shopping bag. Rodriguez allegedly told authorities she had delivered the fetus the day before and wasn’t sure what to do with it. The fetus is thought to have been born alive and was possibly asphyxiated.

NBA legend Bill Russell, who with 11 championships has more titles than anyone else in major American sports, was arrested at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport for allegedly attempting to board the plane with a loaded .38-caliber Smith & Wesson handgun.

In Los Cabos, a gunman dressed as a clown shot and killed Francisco Rafael Arellano Felix, a former leader of the Tijuana Cartel. A spokesman for the state prosecutor said, “A person dressed as a clown took his life.”€

MISCELLANY: DUMB AMERICANS, POLISH RAPE STATUE, AND THE BOMB INSIDE DICK CHENEY’S HEART
An international survey released on Friday by the US Department of Education’s National Center for Education Statistics revealed that of 23 advanced economies, American adults ranked 15th in literacy and 21st in math skills.

In Gdansk, a statue called Komm Frau (Come Here, Woman) appeared briefly on the Avenue of Victory before authorities removed it and arrested the sculptor. The sculpture depicts a Russian soldier raping a pregnant German woman at gunpoint. Artist Jerzy Szumczyk explained that he was emotionally moved to create the piece after learning that Soviet soldiers had raped an estimated two million German women during World War II.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney told an interviewer for 60 Minutes that his cardiologist turned off his implanted defibrillator’s wireless device for fear that terrorists would intentionally trigger a heart attack via a remote device.