Martin Bashir

BULLYING IN SPORTS: BLAME CAPITALISM
Commenting on the preposterously overblown bullying scandal involving Miami Dolphins players Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin, an obese black sports analyst named Jason Whitlock offered the following piercing insight:

Because that’s what we do in America. That’s what capitalism does. It preys upon the weak.

So do good football players. So do animals that want to survive in nature. In fact, the job of “black sports analyst” would probably not even exist in a non-capitalistic society.

In other examples of this sudden strange wave of sports being injected with crippling doses of Cultural Marxism, New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski apologized for mocking an Asian friend, Newcastle United defender Steven Taylor apologized for jokingly sending pictures of people in blackface to his black teammates, former Rutgers defensive back Jevon Tyree saw no shame in publicly complaining that his coach had called him a “pussy” and a “bitch,” and a woman who described herself in a 2011 article for USA Today as a “liberal, secular, Jew queer” claims that someone at an Auburn University football game called her a “FUCKING JEW.”

THE WORLD’S MOST MISOGYNIST BODY LOTION
Skin-care company Burt’s Bees is bending over backward and grabbing its ankles to apologize because some disgruntled skin-care patron noticed the following description on a jar of their Vanilla Flame Body Butter:

Soak in the moisturizing seductiveness of shea butter and indulge in the scent of vanilla and rice milk. And let the catcalling commence.

As if she’d been literally raped by a jar of body lotion, 29-year-old Colleen Kiphart went on Twitter to claim that “Catcalling is a violence against women.” An “anti-street-harassment group” calling itself Hollaback created a petition for all the brain-dead Soros-bots at change.org:

To demonstrate your support for people who are street harassed globally, issue a real apology, agree to stop production of products that legitimize street harassment, and make a donation to organizations working to end street harassment and other forms of gender-based violence.

Ladies: Give it a rest. You fail to realize that it is exactly this sort of behavior”€”not supple, creamy skin”€”that leads to negative attitudes toward women.

A male “ally” of this ongoing putsch toward cultural vagina dentata condemned a “Rear of the Year” contest at Cambridge University as being sexist even though the competition included male posteriors. Writing on behalf of all women, a self-appointed white knight named Tom Mendelsohn wrote:

Can we not ask ourselves serious questions why young male adults are so happy to make rape jokes and publicly slaver over their female peers? Can we not find a way to show them it’s not okay before they even start thinking that way? Each time one woman is reduced to a bottom, women are reduced.

Hate to break the news to you, Tommy-boy, but your face looks like a bottom. Your face could have entered the competition, and no one would have known the difference.