YOUTUBE DERAILS GEORGIA CANDIDATE’S “DEPORTATION BUS”
As Georgia Republicans square off to secure the nomination for governor of this Southern state that is rich in both peanuts and melanin, State Senator Michael Williams has gained attention by attempting to traverse the state in a big gray “deportation bus” designed to round up all peach-pickin’ illegal aliens and, we don’t know, dump them in the Okefenokee Swamp or something. Among other slogans garishly emblazoned on the bus are the following words:

Danger! Murderers, rapists, kidnappers, child molesters, and other criminals on board.

“We’re not just going to track them and watch them roam around the state,” Williams, who calls himself “the most outspoken anti-illegal candidate in Georgia’s history,” has bragged to reporters. “We’re going to put them on this bus and send them home.”
However, the digital-video megalodon YouTube recently yanked Williams’s “Deportation Bus” video, describing it as “hate speech” because it’s hateful to state the documented fact that illegal aliens—who willfully break the law simply by being in the country—often go on to commit other crimes as well.

Doesn’t matter whether it’s true—it’s hateful, and we as a society are going to whip ourselves into an unimpeachably righteous collective psychosis and murder everything in our paths so long as we stamp out hate.

BEANERS AND COFFEE BEANS
As if our nation’s hallowed illegal aliens didn’t already catch enough static from ignorant Anglo Southerners and their stupid Deportation Buses, “a Latino man named Peter” recently caused a volcanic eruption of racial rage after a California Starbucks gave him a cup of coffee with the word BEANER scrawled on the side.

(In case you didn’t know, “beaner” is an anti-Mexican slur based on the hateful and totally debunked idea that Mexicans sometimes eat, and often even enjoy, beans.)

Peter’s friend Miguel explains the caffeinated hate crime:

He went to Starbucks, and they asked for his name, and his name is ‘Peter,’ and they wrote this ‘beaner.’

Hmm…“Peter” and “beaner” sound awfully similar. Maybe it was a case of a barista mishearing an order?

Nah—HAD to be a hate crime. Starbucks needs to be put out of business immediately.

DID A WOMAN LIE ABOUT BEING RAPED, THEN LIE ABOUT LYING?
Sexists, rapists, misogynists, purse-snatchers, and all men in general frequently peddle the myth what women sometimes lie about rape, but we all know this is a discredited patriarchal trope designed to enable men to continue raping women with impunity while expecting us not to call them out on their bullshit.

Now comes a story from Connecticut alleging that not only may a woman have lied about being raped, she now appears to be lying about whether she ever lied about it in the first place.

Nineteen-year-old Nikki Yovino—who is impressively curvy for her age but will undoubtedly be a big fat bucket of dripping suet by the time she hits 30—was in court last week on charges that she lied to police about a 2016 encounter with two college football players in a bathroom at a party.

Now she’s saying that she never said she was sexually assaulted. This conversation actually happened last week in court between Yovino and a local DA:

DA: You never told law enforcement you were sexually assaulted?’

Yovino: No. I never said I was sexually assaulted.

DA: Well then why were they investigating a sexual assault?’

Yovino: I don’t know.

Women! They can never decide on a restaurant, and they’re always changing their minds on whether or not they were raped. But as we were all taught while growing up, changing her mind on whether or not she was raped is a woman’s prerogative.

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