The Huffington Post gave short shrift to all this modern-day violence reminding everyone instead about atrocities that occurred ninety years ago.

The New York Times is shvitzing over the idea that the sport of lacrosse isn’t nearly “diverse” enough. A US attorney in Tennessee has suggested that anti-Islamic “hate speech” may be a violation of Muslims’ civil rights and thus worthy of punishment. Facebook executives, facing pressure from feminist groups, have promised to “update training for teams that review reports on hate speech.” A female Louisiana State Senator claimed that opposition to Obamacare was obviously motivated by racism. Illinois Rep. Bobby Rush dismissed a Republican Senator’s plan to curb gang violence as an “upper middle-class, elitist, white boy solution”.

The number of unemployed workers in the eurozone is expected to reach 20 million by year’s end. And only a third of American adults, who haven’t come close to recovering financial losses endured in the 2008 financial collapse, report being “very happy.”

Despite all this wretched news, there is hope, at least for those who find comfort in the idea of an emergent idiocracy. Former pro wrestler Jesse Ventura is toying with the idea of a 2016 presidential candidacy and says he’s considering Howard Stern as a running mate. And for the ever-swelling ranks of Americans whose ever-expanding waistlines and ever-increasing physical inertia makes them too lazy to eat artery-clogging fast food with their own two hands, Burger King has introduced a hands-free Whopper holder that enables you to chow down like an obese horse munching from a feed bag.