Ariel Sharon

PUNISHING SCHOOLCHILDREN EQUALLY, DESPITE HOW THEY BEHAVE
The Departments of Justice and Education have sent out a memo that calls for American schoolchildren of all races to be disciplined equally, regardless of whether one group misbehaves far more than any other. The letter argues that racially neutral rules are actually discriminatory since they somehow always magically wind up with far more black students facing disciplinary measures than any other group:

Schools also violate Federal law when they evenhandedly implement facially neutral policies and practices that, although not adopted with the intent to discriminate, nonetheless have an unjustified effect of discriminating against students on the basis of race.

CRIME: THE FOUL-MOUTHED TODDLER GANGSTA OF OMAHA
A small, trash-talking, diaper-wearing black toddler has been removed from his 16-year-old mother’s custody after an Omaha police union posted a video of the child being taunted by adults with obscene, gangsta-slang insults and then returning the favor. The child, who appears to be no older than three, says “Shut up, bitch” at one point and flips his middle finger at the camera. The police union posted the clip to highlight endemic “violence and thuggery” and of course was accused of being racist.

An Oklahoma man faces murder charges in the beating-and-asphyxiation death of his stepfather, who may have been suffocated as a result of receiving an “atomic wedgie” at his stepson’s hands.

In Maine, a man rammed his car into a convenience store, stole a banana, ate it, and left.

In Oregon, a pimp named Sirgiorgiro Clardy has filed a $100-million lawsuit against Nike, accusing them of being partially responsible for a beating in which he kicked in a john’s face while wearing a pair of Nike’s Air Jordan shoes. Clardy’s suit claims that Nike was negligent for not warning him that the sneakers could be used as a weapon.

In Texas, a man has been arrested on suspicion of stabbing his girlfriend after she brought him home a pizza for lunch rather than a chicken sandwich as he’d requested.

HITLER: KING OF KINDLE?
Last week two different digital versions of Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf sat at #12 and #15 on iTunes’ chart for best-selling e-books in the “Politics and Current Events” category. A 2012 English-language version of Mein Kampf was #1 on Amazon’s chart of “Propaganda and Political Psychology.”

In other race-related news, Saturday Night Live hired a black female comic ostensibly because she was black and female rather than funny. Apple Computer is buckling under pressure to diversify its unforgivably white-male-heavy board of directors. Meryl Streep accused Walt Disney of being an anti-Semitic “gender bigot.” The University of Oregon is producing a play that allegedly glories in race-shaming Caucasians. Way to keep it post-racial, America!