Al Sharpton

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The Week’s Most Mysterious, Delirious, and Unserious Headlines

AL SHARPTON COMPARES HOLLYWOOD TO THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS
The Right Reverend Al Sharpton is a black man of God who used to be very fat yet has become almost alarmingly scrawny of late. When he isn’t sticking his beak into one race-hate hoax after another, he busies himself encouraging race riots against Jews and referring to Western Civ’s founders as “Greek homos.” He also hosts a TV show on which he has proved to be an amazingly articulate man.

And although it would be racist to call him an angry black man, it appears that Reverend Al’s nose was put out of joint at last week’s announcement of Oscar nominations for all those great, creative, and not at all propagandistic films that Hollywood released last year. What he found problematic and unacceptable was the fact that out of 20 acting nominations, there was nary a Negro in the bunch:

All white Oscar nominations are another example of the lack of diversity in Hollywood. Like the Rocky Mts. The higher u climb the whiter.

That’s cute, as is the Reverend’s use of “u” in place of “you.”

In a 2008 article for the Los Angeles Times, Joel Stein spoke of the unfair chokehold that whites held over Hollywood studios:

News Corp. President Peter Chernin (white), Paramount Pictures Chairman Brad Grey (white), Walt Disney Co. Chief Executive Robert Iger (white), Sony Pictures Chairman Michael Lynton (surprise, Dutch Jew), Warner Bros. Chairman Barry Meyer (white), CBS Corp. Chief Executive Leslie Moonves (so white his great uncle was the first prime minister of Israel), MGM Chairman Harry Sloan (white) and NBC Universal Chief Executive Jeff Zucker (mega-white).

Oh, wait, sorry”€”we accidentally searched and replaced “Jewish” with “white.” Oops!

But it’s not only the movies”€”television is obviously far too white as well. “€œI think in general, broadcasters are realizing that the white man’s 15 minutes are up,”€ says TV producer Adi Hasak, who for some mathemtically improbable reason also happens to be a Zionist.

THE BRAIN DEATH OF AMERICAN UNIVERSITIES, CONT.
American universities have become places where feelings are taught and thinking is forbidden. Administrators at Penn State have set up a “Report Bias” system enabling easily offended students who self-identify as members of designated victim-grievance groups to snitch upon any other student who may have said, or possibly even thought, something that may have invaded their tiny Safety Bubble and even slightly bruised their feelings.

Penn State’s president recently encouraged pupils to report acts of “€œhate or intolerance.”€ When asked to define an act of intolerance, a university spokeswoman said:

An act of intolerance can be identified as any forms of microaggressions, verbal assaults, and/or racial subjugation…By providing an outlet for individuals to report bias they have seen or experienced, we are giving them an equal right to express their thoughts and feelings on the matter.

Taki’s Mag would like to report that our feelings are that this “Bias Report” program is dumb. It also seems exclusively designed to mark and tag students who express forbidden thoughts.

Last year Ithaca College brought shame, condemnation, and weeks of student “die-in” protests upon itself after a spate”€”well, actually only two”€”incidents involving racially insensitive white students and alumni. In the first incident, a frat-party invitation suggested that attendees dress as “crooks,” and even though blacks were not mentioned, this was used as evidence of pervasive on-campus racism. And at an alumni panel, two white males referred to a black female alumnus as a “savage,” which is clearly horrifying and hurtful. As a result of simply being college president while these two isolated incidents occurred, Ithaca’s president Tom Rochon has announced that he is stepping down.

HATE CRIME HOAX OF THE WEEK
Jesus Francisco Cabrera is just your ordinary teenage Hispanic Californian graffiti artist who blames imaginary white men for stabbing him with a screwdriver when it was actually rival Hispanic graffiti artists. Last year he told police that white men had harassed him about not belonging in this country before they punctured his thigh with one screwdriver jab. Police “immediately” began investigating it as a hate crime and even released sketches of the two nonexistent white assailants. After an investigation revealed that Cabrera was a mentiroso, police are now charging him with falsely reporting a crime.