August 04, 2014
Source: Shutterstock
PHRENOLOGY FOR THE RIGHT-WING BRAIN
The modern leftwing mindset declares quite loudly and staunchly that eugenics has been forever “debunked” and “discredited” and that things such as race and gender are nothing more than “pseudo-scientific” ideas.
Oddly, they act as if political orientations such as “liberal” and “conservative” are quantifiable entities. In the realm of “political science””easily the softest of the soft sciences, so soft that cotton candy is like granite by comparison”researchers have received millions in funding over the past few years in their quest to find biological reasons for why so-called “conservatives” suffer from inborn genetic defects.
They have developed pills for bigots, devised tests to measure “implicit bias” that are inherently flawed, conducted studies that correlate “right-wing” ideology to “lower cognitive ability,” and funded research that concludes liberals and conservatives have differently configured brains.
Salon.com, that lush lair of excessively privileged and incurably clueless white ethno-masochists, is now touting a new poli-sci study that “proves” conservatives are physiologically more likely to be motivated by fear than liberals, which leads those silly right-wingers to perpetuate “moral panics” and needlessly demonize their perceived out-group.
This is richer than a Godiva chocolate, seeing as Salon.com appears to exist solely to perpetuate leftist moral panics involving progressive speech-policing, myths such as rampant white-on-black hate crimes and institutional racism, the delusion that “transphobia” is real, and the notion that corporations threaten the human spirit more than the government does. It becomes richer than a Godiva chocolate slathered in whipping cream when one considers that Salon is ceaselessly involved in morally panicked witch hunts against its perceived out-group, the evil and sinister and irredeemably malevolent white conservative male.
END “FAT HATRED” NOW, OR WE WILL SIT ON YOU
Everyone who isn’t completely insane (and slim) knows that “Fat hatred is a civil rights issue” and that we are currently in the throes of a “fat shaming epidemic.” If you don’t realize that”or if you realize it and still refuse to confess it before the world”the only proper and non-hypocritical way to address your “fat shaming” is to publicly shame you.
A Canadian mother who claims that she was taunted by onlookers for wearing a bikini at the beach to reveal a grotesquely adipose and mottled midsection that resembles Jabba the Hut received plaudits and sympathy and applause from the online pro-fatty community after she went to Facebook and wailed like a big fat baby whale about her traumatizing experience.
A Michigan plastic-surgery clinic that had paid for a billboard which would seem benign and even good-natured to anyone whose arteries aren’t clogged with donuts was likewise shamed for suggesting that some people might not find “muffin tops””i.e., when your blubbery midsection spills over your too-tight pants”very attractive. A vandal, whom we are presuming might be fairly described as a “ham-planet,” received an outpouring of cheer and support from the online fatso community for defacing the billboard.
BECOMING ONE’S TRUE SELF THROUGH MASSIVE SURGICAL INTERVENTION
Billy-Joe Newington, 25 was born as “Connie” in Cardiff, Wales but at some point Connie decided that she was in the “wrong body.” Connie started taking male-hormone injections two years ago, had her breasts removed by the NHS to the tune of $10,000, and is now planning a series of three operations to give her a penis that will likely cost British taxpayers $20,000.
Doctors will use skin from Connie’s heavily tattooed forearm to fashion the fake male organ, leaving her with a “stripy penis.” These three operations will involve fashioning the penile shaft itself, sculpting the glans penis and receiving testicle implants, and a final stage that incorporates “urethral lengthening and a hysterectomy.” Then, and only then, will Connie complete her journey into becoming “the man I know I am.”
