April 06, 2015
Source: Shutterstock
THE TUNNEL THAT DARED NOT HATE
Partly as an attempt to curb graffiti elsewhere on campus, North Carolina State University designated a “Free Expression Tunnel” that students were encouraged to routinely deface with the sort of fevered, idiotic painted scribblings that only make sense to college students who are high on spray-paint fumes.
According to the school’s website:
The Free Expression Tunnel gives students a venue for expressing their thoughts and feelings about anything “ from “Happy Birthday” to announcing club and organization meetings. The tunnel never looks the same twice, as it is painted daily by various student groups.
Seriously? Their “thoughts and feelings about anything”? Anything?
Of course not. Eileen Coombes, the school’s director of student involvement”whatever that means”recently sent out a mass email announcing the launch of a “Hate Not State” campaign. It involves giving out free stencils with that very phrase and instructing students to use their own personal mass-produced “Hate Not State” stencil to paint over any graffiti in the tunnel that encourages “social injustices and other forms of hate.”
Coombes wrote in her email:
If you see hate speech or offensive language in the Free Expression Tunnel, cover that speech with the stencil, indicating that you, as a member of this community of scholars, will not stand for any form of hate at NC State.
But what if you hate Eileen Coombes? How does that work? Are you still allowed to do graffiti about that? Not that we”re encouraging any students at NC State to do anything hateful or anything, because we aren”t. We definitely don”t want to put ideas in anyone’s head.
ROGER MOORE IN THE CANNIBAL’s POT
Devilishly rakish London-born actor Roger Moore was recently called a “racist” and a “racist old man” after making comments in Paris Match that he claims got lost in translation. Moore commented on whether black actor Idris Elba should be cast as the next James Bond. The translated version is as follows:
A few years ago, I said that Cuba Gooding Jr. would make an excellent Bond, but it was a joke!. Although James may have been played by a Scot, a Welshman and an Irishman, I think he should be “English-English”.
Elba was born and raised in England. The question here is whether that automatically makes someone “English-English.”
THE GREAT CHINESE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION MURDER
Launching himself into a literally murderous rage after his wife’s comments about his Viagra dependency, 63-year-old Taiwanese man Chang Yi-hsin hacked her to death with a meat cleaver and then attempted to crush himself to death under his motorized garage door.
Instead of being squashed like a dung beetle as he wished, Chang merely got trapped under the garage door and began screaming for help. It wasn”t until police asked him whether he lived alone that he nonchalantly said, “Oh, I also stabbed my wife. I hope she’s not too badly injured.”
She was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital. Chang also told authorities that one of her many mocking comments was that his penis was only good for urinating. It’s highly possible that Chang will now spend the rest of his life surrounded by prisoners who mock him for his erectile dysfunction.
WEST VIRGINIA: FIRST IN DRUG USE, LAST IN WELL-BEING
That wondrous patch of scenic poverty known as West Virginia simultaneously manages to be one of the nation’s whitest, poorest, and crime-free states. A recent study also determined that its population depends on daily usage of mood-altering drugs more than the citizens of any other state in the union. Six of the ten highest drug-dependent states were in the South. Conversely, Alaska showed the lowest quotient of drug-dependent citizens. As luck would have it, Alaska ranked first and West Virginia last in a separate study of its citizens” overall happiness and well-being.
