May 11, 2015
Source: Shutterstock
The Week’s Most Humorous, Ludicrous, and Unscrupulous Headlines
THE JIHADISTS WHO COULDN”T SHOOT STRAIGHT
From all appearances, the anti-jihadist polemicist Pamela Geller is a shrieking, howling, barking, baying, talon-wielding, attention-seeking yenta who tolerates no criticism of Zionism. That doesn’t mean she’s wrong about Islam, though.
The Southern Poverty Law Center describes Geller as the “anti-Muslim movement’s most visible and flamboyant figurehead,” adding that she is “relentlessly shrill and coarse in her broad-brush denunciations of Islam and makes preposterous claims,” as if the SPLC wasn’t relentlessly shrill and wasn’t constantly making preposterous claims.
Ironically, Geller’s ceaseless jeremiads against radical Islam have set her on a dangerous path akin to the fanatics she ceaselessly decries”that of someone on a suicidal mission to defend their beliefs.
It was Geller who organized May 3rd’s “Jihad Watch Muhammad Art Exhibit and Cartoon Contest” in Garland, TX. The venue was chosen specifically because it had hosted an anti-“Islamophobia” rally in January. The keynote speaker was the prominent Dutch Islam-basher Geert Wilders, who is sort of a modern-day Charles Martel, only with better hair. There was also an armed SWAT team on hand to defend the crowd of 200 against any incursions by violent Islamists who might take it upon themselves to defend their exceedingly thin-skinned deity.
But when a pair of bumbling soldiers of Allah arrived all the way from Phoenix to wipe out the infidels, assault rifles in hand and wearing bulletproof vests, a local cop armed with only a pistol quickly dispatched both of them.
Although the Islamic State didn’t directly take credit for the bungled attack, it praised the two dead Muslims for at least trying. It also publicly issued the Islamic version of a Mafia hit on Geller.
Many in the leftist media“that term is a redundancy at this point”balked at Geller for poking her beak into a haram hornet’s nest, asserting that if you don’t want Muslims to shoot or bomb you, you shouldn’t draw cartoons of Muhammad.
Following that argument, one would assume such unabashed supporters of the heckler’s veto would say that if you don’t want to be clubbed over the head with iron crucifixes by Christians, you shouldn’t insult Christianity. It would also stand to reason that if you don’t want to be shot point-blank in the head by white males, you should lay off the relentless bashing of white males that is almost de rigueur in modern media and academia.
But of course they’re not going to do that.
DRISKELL V. HOMOSEXUALS
Sexagenarian Nebraskan Sylvia Ann Driskell has filed a handwritten lawsuit in a U.S. District Court on behalf of “Plaintiffs God, and His, [sic] Son, Jesus Christ” against “the Homosexuals” seeking a trial to determine whether homosexuality is a sin. In her filing, she cited the numerous biblical verses that unequivocally state that it’s a sin.
Driskell’s filing was summarily dismissed and she was exposed to the relentless public barrage of insults, mockery, and condemnation by the same gays and pro-gay sympathizers who’d howl “BULLYING!” if such words were directed at them.
Still, Driskell makes an important point: You can’t simultaneously be a homosexual and a Christian. You have to pick one. Despite progressive attempts to revise Christianity to suit their needs, the Bible is quite clear on the matter. It’s either God or Gomorrah. You can’t have both. Choose wisely.
COMMUNIST DEFECTOR SAYS KGB INVENTED “LIBERATION THEOLOGY”
“Liberation theology” is a doctrine that seeks to yoke traditional Christianity to Marxist notions of economic justice. Although it is popularly thought to have been a grass-roots movement first conceived by a Peruvian priest named Gustavo Gutiérrez, a recent interview with an ex-communist spy suggests otherwise.
Ion Mihai Pacepa is a former three-star general in Romania’s secret police who is described as the “highest-ranking defector from communism in the ‘70s.” In a recent interview with the Catholic News Agency, Pacepa claims that the doctrine of “liberation theology” that spread through Latin America in the 1970s was conceived and funded by the KGB:
The movement was born in the KGB, and it had a KGB-invented name: Liberation Theology. During those years, the KGB had a penchant for “liberation” movements. The National Liberation Army of Columbia (FARC), created by the KGB with help from Fidel Castro; the “National Liberation Army of Bolivia, created by the KGB with help from “Che” Guevara; and the Palestine Liberation Organization (PLO), created by the KGB with help from Yasser Arafat are just a few additional “liberation” movements born at the Lubyanka—the headquarters of the KGB.
It wasn’t until 1984 when Pope John Paul II”who witnessed communism firsthand in Poland”did some house-cleaning and officially detached the Church from liberation theology.
BLACK FEMALE COLLEGE PROFESSOR-TO-BE SAYS WHITE MALES ARE A “PROBLEM POPULATION”
Saida Grundy is a disgruntled black female sociologist who is scheduled to become a professor at Boston University. On her Twitter account“which she apparently locked subsequent to negative publicity”she has made several less-than-flattering remarks about white males:
white masculinity isn”t a problem for america’s colleges, white masculinity is THE problem for america’s colleges.
why is white america so reluctant to identify white college males as a problem population?
She also made the following easily disproved claims:
for the record, NO race outside of europeans had a system that made slavery a *personhood* instead of temporary condition
there is also no race except europeans who kidnapped and transported human beings in order to enslave them and their offspring for life
before europeans invented it as such, slavery was not a condition that was defacto inherited from parent to child.
in other words, deal with your white sh*t, white people. slavery is a *YALL* thing.
Despite her pronounced racial animus and weak grasp of history, Boston University spokesman Colin Riley told a reporter, “Professor Grundy is exercising her right to free speech and we respect her right to do so.”
That’s great! In the same spirit of free speech, when will the university hire a sociologist who cites actual IQ tests, verifiable crime rates, and the entire historical record to declare that black males are a “problem population”?
