August 29, 2014
Source: Shutterstock
THE DARK AGES WERE PRETTY DARK
So, let me get this straight: we all stood on the same starting line 40,000 years ago, and despite covering the globe and having totally different experiences, we”ve all arrived at the finish line at the exact same time, huh? Just because you admit the West is the best doesn”t mean you want to obliterate other cultures. I love a large variety of restaurants as much as the next guy, but how about we discourage immigrants from importing stuff like animal sacrifice, honor killings, female circumcision, rape, pedophilia, human trafficking … you know, stuff like that?
RACE EXISTS
College professors say it ain”t so but I have eyeballs and ear holes. I know the difference between races. My wife and kids are Ho-Chunk Indians. They”ve all had DNA tests to prove it and if they scored below 25% Indian, they wouldn”t be in the tribe.
The scariest part of recognizing race is the spooky taboo of race and IQ. I don”t get the fear about all this well-documented data. We”re talking about millions upon millions of people with hundreds of thousands of exceptions. It’s helpful when talking about policies like, “Do we need affirmative action for Asians in science or short, white guys in basketball?” Spending lots of money on either of these ideas would be a waste of time but for totally different reasons. As far as the individual goes, the data are irrelevant because you have to assume you are dealing with an exception. The beauty of the libertarian stance on this is that it doesn”t matter. We don”t demand that the government enforce equal representation for every group in every field and we don”t tell people who they have to hang out with. It’s all up to the individual. Besides, who cares if your group didn”t win the test? My family tree looks like a dead witch’s hair dipped in a puddle of whiskey but I don”t care. They”re not me.
GOD EXISTS TOO
I”m cool with the big bang and evolution; I just think an omnipotent force set it all in motion. I was raised as an atheist and recently converted to Catholicism but I don”t understand why that’s anyone’s business. Why is Christianity the only religion that needs an autopsy every five seconds? Nobody asks the Native American Church about dinosaurs. Nobody needs to know what the Buddhists in Taiwan think about abortion. America was founded on Christianity but instead of reverence we get a To Kill a Mockingbird trial for every page of the Bible.
WAR IS BAD
It’s not always the progressives murdering people with their beliefs. The right got some things wrong too. Legalizing drugs will surely lead to a slew of problems but they won”t hold a marijuana-scented candle to the all-out slaughter we have now. We tried prohibition. It only leads to more crime.
HOMOSEXUALS ARE GAY
Lock a straight man in a motel and make him smoke heroin every day and you”ll have a junkie in a couple of weeks. Make him do the same thing with erect penises and I guarantee you he”ll be dry heaving on the 999th just as much as he did on the first. If you think gay is something you can learn, you”re gay.
Seriously, how can anyone in their right mind think a homo in red leather short-shorts who has been prancing around with his boyfriend for 10 years could just put on a sweater vest and marry some chick named Sheila? Have you seen a gay man’s face when you say the word “vagina”? Fuck Sheila. He should marry his boyfriend and join the ranks of the married. We need all we can get.
THE JEWS ARE ALL RIGHT
I don”t really have an opinion about “the Jewish problem.” I”ve heard they”re overrepresented in finance and media but there’s also a disproportionate number of them in medicine.
I”m told they were the cultural Marxists behind PC, but when you hear college kids defending Palestine and even Hamas today, you realize the movement was hijacked by anti-Semitism long ago.
I haven”t heard any strong Jewish consensus on anything so I”m not buying that they are some kind of manipulative force behind the scenes. Some of the most anti-Zionist writing you”ll read anywhere is in the Israeli papers. Sure, it was funny when Gary Oldman was forced to apologize for saying Jews can force actors to apologize, but is it affecting my movie watching experience? Nope. Whatever scary stuff old guys can tell us about “the Jews” dried up and blew away long ago.
I DON”T KNOW IT ALL
There are plenty of other things that I don”t have enough information on to give a solid opinion about. I find the health care debate totally overwhelming. Has ANYONE read that 906-page bill? We”re already paying for free ER visits and the obesity epidemic is destroying our facilities, but this government can barely renew my driver’s license. I dread giving it that much power.
Similarly, I”m an isolationist libertarian by nature, but I”ve argued with John Bolton about this and he swept the floor with me.
Israel gives me a headache and sometimes I just wish they would all fuck off and leave us alone.
The only thing I refuse to believe is that anyone should be deprived of the right to have his own opinions. It took a lot of blood and guts to get us to this level of freedom, and shutting down discussions or having an unshakable belief system about politics is downright un-American. The facts don”t change. It’s the teams who change and today’s liberals look a lot like yesterday’s fascists. The villains we assume are out to get us are often just the ones who are brave enough to do what’s right even when it looks wrong. Sometimes good guys don”t wear white.
