Source: Bigstock

But guess who was the FBI guy investigating the Madison Guaranty Loan during the Kenneth Starr “Kill Bill” marathon?

Robert Mueller.

So Bob knows how it works. It starts with a meeting at Trump Tower and then it becomes a party in the Ritz-Carlton in Moscow and then it becomes an old business loan from a sketchy Ukrainian guy and then—Aha! Look at all his reactions and evasions and sleazy behavior!—it becomes Really Bad One-Night Stand With a Porn Star Who Gets Paid Off So His Wife Won’t Find Out.

Are we really gonna do this again?

I think one Kenneth Starr was enough.

Do I think Robert Mueller will eventually come up with a felony charge on Trump? Of course he will. If you investigate anyone long enough, you can come up with a felony charge.

Remember the scene in All the King’s Men when Willie Stark, the Governor of Louisiana, tells his idealistic assistant that he wants some dirt on his political opponent, but the assistant tells him that, no, they can’t find anything, the guy he’s running against is totally clean, honest and upright?

Stark knows better. “Man is conceived in sin and born in corruption,” the governor tells the younger man, “and he passeth from the stink of the didie to the stench of the shroud. There is always something.”

Yes, we know there’s something. There’s always something. But if there’s no Russian collusion, this investigation should be over. That’s what Mueller was appointed to find out. If he’s decided to become an acolyte of Kenneth Starr, we should really be saying, “Bob, that didn’t work the first time.”

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