I recently penned an article entitled “I Love Pakis” (links NSFW) about how adorable East Indian immigrants are. The title was purposely idiotic and this was made clear in the opening. “It’s obviously an ignorant word,” I explained. That’s what racial epithets are—“American soldiers called the Vietnamese ‘gooks’ because they didn’t differentiate from the Koreans they had fought 20 years earlier.”

This satirical attack lampooning the inaccuracy of the word and its simultaneous praise of Indians got a lot of good response from the Brown Community. “You actually made Indians sound cool—which ain’t easy,” joked Amit Nerurkar. “I thought it was a riot,” echoed Nutan Khanna and “You forgot that we often stink” quipped Ashok Bhawan. Unfortunately, the White Community was not amused, especially across the pond where it was published on a UK site called Platform. Within hours, the phenomenally redundant “Love Music Hate Racism” told editors, “If you want a campaign launched against your racist irony, you can do nothing. If you want to avoid that, you’ll take the idiot thing down and issue a genuine, unironic apology to all those you’ve offended. Your choice.” Platform complied because they “couldn’t afford to lose even one advertiser.”

So, now Amit can’t forward an amusing article to his Indian friends because a white man has deemed it For Nobody’s Eyes Only. Our editor, Arvind Dilwar, later sent the organization a thank you letter for protecting him. This was meant to showcase the absurdity of white people fighting other’s battles but the folks at LMHR don’t really care what Arvind thinks. This isn’t really about Pakis. It’s about whites telling other whites what to do. It reminds me of the SHARPs (Skinheads Against Racial Prejudice) in my neighborhood fighting Nazi skinheads as the oblivious immigrant grocer looked on wondering why teenagers undergoing chemotherapy hate each other so much. Though today’s Freedom Riders would like to feel as relevant as they were half a century ago, they’re the only ones left on the bus. In that sense, it’s more Whites Only than ever. The result is a strange form of Western Superiority where we control everything and it’s our responsibility to fix it. If the Ugandan Right wants to make homosexuality illegal, it’s American evangelicals’ fault for putting that idea into their crazy heads. Instead of recognizing that we didn’t start slavery, we ended it (as Buchanan points out) we’re meant to apologize to the entire planet if it rains on somebody’s birthday. It’s all our problem or as Martin Luther King said in his Letter from a Birmingham Jail, “Never again, can we afford to live with the narrow, parochial, ‘outside agitator’ idea.” All right then, let’s agitate! No. Who said that?

When asked to employ this same mentality to criticize other cultures we’re told, you can’t change a people from without. They need to do it themselves, from within. If it can’t be pinned on the West, it’s not for us to judge. Nigerian babies being shot to test the Ju Ju man who made them invincible, South African children being raped to cure AIDS, and Burundi albinos being dismembered for good luck, are all examples of the difference that makes us stronger, or something. Honor Killings (where a woman is murdered by a close family member for trivial matters like not marrying the right person) is another place the Justice League has deemed too cultural to touch. In 1997, 300 women were killed in one Gaza province for shaming their families. Two thirds of all murders in Jordan are for Honor. 23 women die every year in Lebanon, 52 in Egypt. In Yemen 400 women had to be killed for being embarrassing in 1997. The list goes on. Can we agitate yet? Nope.

I always ask liberals what they think of the movie The Stoning of Soraya M and the few who have seen it tell me it’s a racist portrayal of the Middle East. If I start to bombard them with numbers like the ones listed above, they flush their accusation down the toilet and admit all they can do is talk about what they know and what they know is here. I thought 9-11 made it clear that “there” is no longer that far from “here” or, as Ayaan Hirsi Ali says in her new book Nomad, “Islam creates dysfunctional families and these distorted families constitute a real threat to the very fabric of Western life.” She’s allowed to say that because she’s an inside agitator but where did all the outside ones go? Isn’t the real agenda of anti-racists: “I prefer criticizing people who look like my dad and getting into the real nitty gritty of Human Rights makes me uncomfortable”?

“€¨One easy way to paint these multiculturalists into a corner is to ask, “What if a nine-year-old girl was being circumcised in the next apartment? She’s screaming in horror. Do you call the cops?” This is where they usually employ the abortion argument and say making it illegal will only drive it further underground. If you try to use their own logic against them and say abortion is a necessity where circumcisions never are, the flushing begins again and one magic word emerges from the bowl—“Education.” Apparently all we have to do to prevent barbaric customs is give them a book. “Here, read about the Bionic Woman. She’d never allow her labia to be shorn.” Problem solved. Irshad Manji has a much simpler solution. If you practice female circumcision, you can’t come here and if I can do anything to prevent it happening over there, I will (She’s the one who told me the King quote by the way). Why does the Left give everyone else different rules? Can’t we “launch a campaign” against Islam’s misogynist tyranny?

One can only conclude form this kind of reasoning that, when we do something as insignificant as use a silly word, we need to be shut down immediately but when other cultures disfigure, maim, dismember and kill, they need education. The inevitable conclusion groups like Love Music Hate Racism have brought us is the West is superior and the rest of the world is full of ignorant fools who can’t think for themselves. With all due respect to people I don’t respect, I’m going to have to reject that notion and embrace true egalitarianism. Namely, I hate everybody equally (except Pakis).