Chaz Bono

There’s no need for so many divisive labels. I have a word for all of these people. That word is “confused.”

But that’s because I’m a backwards-thinking, hate-filled, homophobic/transphobic bigot whose honest opinions are likely to soon be reclassified as some form of mental illness. Ironically, it wasn’t long ago that most psychologists depicted homosexuality as a sign of mental illness. In 1973, when little Chastity Bono was four years old, the American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder. Over the past decade, there’s been a worldwide push among headshrinkers to depict transsexuality as perfectly normal, too. In another generation, I imagine that mental-health professionals will deem the act of stitching a dolphin snout onto one’s face to be a sign of psychological well-being.

The left—whatever’s left of it—has a queer tendency to mistake ideas for reality and reality for ideas. That’s the only way they could swallow the notion that what’s inside Chaz Bono’s head makes her a man while what Mother Nature tucked between her legs is irrelevant. It’s such through-the-looking-glass thinking that enables them to believe America is riddled with hang-ups about Chaz Bono rather than the obvious fact that Chaz Bono is hung-up about herself.

It’s also what allows them to peddle such obviously fraudulent ideas that race doesn’t exist but that racism is everywhere. Still, if I insisted I was actually a black man trapped inside a white dude’s body, they’d probably tell me to seek counseling. They’re piss-poor at covering all the bases with their magical thinking.

In their fantasy world where feelings are more important than flesh, they cheerlead Chaz Bono in her seemingly interminable quest to become more comfortable with herself, no matter how uncomfortable it makes everyone else. Rather than viewing Chaz’s “journey” as ugly, exhibitionistic narcissism, they depict her chubby feet as treading a golden pathway of life-affirming empowerment. It isn’t a televised mental breakdown, it’s a transformation, an unfolding, a blossoming. They’ve enabled her to become so self-absorbed, she’s swollen to mammoth proportions. They’ve allowed her to become so enormous—both in her body and in her head—that no closet on Earth could ever hold her.

Anyone who objects isn’t merely objecting—they’re a “hater.” As is their style, the Love Brigade aims far more hate and dehumanizing terminology at the “haters” than the haters ever aimed at them. The reason that transsexuals’ unemployment rate is twice the national average has nothing to do with their possibly erratic behavior—it’s the unremitting HATE of the genitally normal. The reason that two out of five trannies attempt suicide isn’t because they’re messed-up in the head—it’s because everyone else is. Whether or not she’s quickly booted from Dancing With the Stars, Chaz Bono will continue to feel hurt, hated, and misunderstood because that appears to be a huge part of Chaz’s personality—perhaps its dominant component.

What a painful and arduous journey it must be to have the luxury of spending your entire life “becoming” yourself. Chaz is still becoming Chaz and will keep taking injections to become what Chaz has always been. Chaz may someday get more surgery to become what Chaz always was in the first place. One would have thought that Chaz, if Chaz actually was Chaz, would stop becoming Chaz and just be Chaz. But Chaz, in trying to become Chaz, has ensured that will never happen.

If she’d only remained Chastity Bono, she’d be far truer to her real self. She wouldn’t be nearly as ugly, either.