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In the past few days, The New York Times has run the following headlines:

Aug. 10, 2024: New Battleground Polls Show Harris Has Fundamentally Changed the Race
Aug. 10, 2024: Inside the Worst Three Weeks of Donald Trump’s 2024 Campaign
Aug. 10, 2024: Harris Leads Trump in Three Key States, Times/Siena Polls Find
Aug. 13, 2024: Nate Silver on How Kamala Harris Changed the Odds
Aug. 13, 2024: What the Polls Say About Harris Erasing Trump’s Lead on the Economy

Apparently, the media’s plan to prevent Kamala Harris from answering any questions before Election Day is working! As long as the election is about Trump or Not-Trump, it’s Advantage Democrats.

Instead of “Kamala Harris, the former California attorney general who unleashed violent criminals on the public”; or “Kamala Harris, who enthusiastically contributed to a bail fund for BLM/antifa rioters”; or “Kamala Harris, the woman in charge of our border for the past four years,” Donald Trump is running against “Kamala: The Ray of Sunshine Whose Record You Won’t See Until After Nov. 5.”

This, from the same people who brought you: “Biden: Sharp as a Tack.”

(I’m beginning to suspect the media aren’t even going to follow up on Doug Emhoff’s knocking up his kids’ nanny while married to his first wife — at least nothing beyond that well-timed Vanity Fair article swooning over Emhoff as the “cuddlebug-in-chief.”)

Still, I can’t help remembering the Times‘ similar triumphalism in 2016:

Oct. 10, 2016: Donald Trump Probably Stanched His Losses, but Didn’t Seem to Gain
Oct. 11, 2016: Donald Trump Faltering? Die-Hard Fans Refuse to Buy It
Oct. 13, 2016: As Donald Trump Stumbles, Hillary Clinton Watches Her Step
Oct. 14, 2016: Is G.O.P. Dodging a Landslide [Defeat]? Trump’s Polling Hasn’t Collapsed (Yet)
Oct. 15, 2016: Hillary Clinton Builds $150 Million War Chest, Doubling Donald Trump
Nov. 9, 2017: Entire World Media: “OOPS.”

But who can remember something that happened eight years ago?

In other big news for the 100% monomaniacally pro-Harris media, this past Tuesday night, a group called Republicans for Harris held an online rally. It sounded fantastic. Their big “get” was former Illinois Rep. Adam Kinzinger, and it’s believed that as many as 10 Republicans participated in the Zoom call.

I described this in my 2016 book, In Trump We Trust:

“THE BUSH FAMILY COLLAPSES; A NATION REJOICES

“To stop Trump, Republican apparatchiks will form ‘Republicans for Integrity,’ with Christie Todd Whitman, Colin Powell, and the great-nephew of some Republican like Dwight Eisenhower. … The ad will show members of Republicans for Integrity, looking directly into the camera and finishing one another’s sentences … The New York Times will hail their courage. MSNBC will proclaim the ad a game-changer. …

“[O]nce Trump had sewn up the Republican nomination, Jeb!, his ex-president father and brother refused to support the party’s nominee.”

It’s kind of pathetic to have Trump’s GOP opposition go from the Bush family (according to the Times, Jeb! was “revered among party veterans”!) to … Adam Kinzinger. (Sen. Lindsey Graham was also a Never-Trumper but did a complete turnaround once he realized Trump was only kidding about the wall.)

The upshot is, there’s nothing new and no one knows anything.

At this moment of uncertainty, it’s time to make a deal with the MAGA base.

If Trump loses again this year, it will be the fourth election in a row he’s sabotaged for the GOP — five, if we count the Georgia runoffs in 2020, which I do. To paraphrase the great Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes, five generations of imbecilic losses are enough.

Any other Republican could have beaten the Democrats’ pro-criminal, pro-illegal, pro-Hamas, anti-civilization Dream Team this year. But despite being denied the pleasure of watching Gov. Ron DeSantis debate Joe Biden’s Border Czar, we’re voting for Trump anyway. We’d vote for Zippy the Chimp over Mao and Fidel.

But this is the last @#$%^&* time. In exchange for the votes of those of us who noticed that Trump didn’t build a wall, deport “Dreamers,” jettison the carried interest loophole or end the anchor baby scam (etc.), leaving us with nothing but Trump’s charming personality, you’re agreeing to never run him for president again.

The dead bodies are piling up on Fifth Avenue. Next time, vote for DeSantis, idiots.