Harvard Square

Source: Bigstock

All we would have to do is apply the standard already applied to schools like Liberty University. If Evergreen State wants to have a day on which whites aren’t allowed to come to campus, then that’s fine, we’ll just track that through search-engine optimization, put it into the “exclusion” algorithm, and the ranking of the school will be affected accordingly. Eventually schools like this will end up in “specialized” or “regional” or some other subcategory yet to be invented.

If we want to get really fancy, we can even add a Hypocrisy Algorithm. This would be used for schools like Harvard that claim to be color-blind and inclusive but end up getting sued by Asian-American students who are on the verge of proving that Harvard discriminates against both white majorities and ethnic minorities according to some “holistic” admissions process that they don’t want to reveal to the courts. Once these cases get to the Supreme Court, we’ll have all the data through discovery.

In the process we’ll also discover how most of these companies that rank colleges are full of BS to begin with. For example, the QS World University Rankings factor in “international student ratio” as a way of rewarding universities that attract students from other countries. I’m sure the University of Liechtenstein loves that category, as would Bishop College, the scandal-plagued Dallas institution that finally went out of business after several years of surviving as a foreign-student diploma mill. Some of the big Asian universities are already so fed up with the rankings that they’re talking about not releasing any data in the future, and the Latin American universities, led by the highly regarded Pontificia Universidad Católica de Chile, have already dropped out.

And why wouldn’t the National University of Singapore and the University of Hong Kong and Nanyang Technological University and Tsinghua University and Shanghai Jiao Tong University all feel offended by the process?

After all, they’re not segregated.