Joseph-Siffred Duplessis portrait of Benjamin Franklin

Source: Wikimedia Commons

That would be what people would say in 1946. But that’s not what people are saying in 2018. Instead, people are saying, “Hey, Joe Bob, have you ever tried Spice?”

I honestly don’t know what Spice is. It might be something you smoke. It might be something in a capsule. It might be in powder form—it kind of sounds like something in powder form. But it’s definitely not something brought to New York Harbor from East Asia as a way to flavor our beefsteaks.

The guy with the hundred-dollar bills and the thousand-dollar shoes is trying Spice. There’s gonna be more than a hangover tomorrow morning—there’s gonna be carnage. This is why hundred-dollar bills make me nervous.

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