March 17, 2015
Gary Glitter
Source: Shutterstock
“No Garys Left in Britain in 2050,” the Daily Mash had announced:
“Tom Logan, a Gary campaigner, said: “Thirty years ago our playgrounds were teeming with Garys. Simple, straightforward boys who just wanted to be radio DJs. But they have been driven out by Kyles, Noahs, Jordans and Masons. Foreign sounding names for suspicious, unreliable children.””
Now, there may not be a real “Institute of Studies” “ the ubiquitous Daily Mash go-to authority “ but there is an Office of National Statistics, and according to its data, England’s “Garys” are indeed a dying breed.
“There were only 28 babies called Gary born in 2013,” while, for example (and rather alarmingly) 71 boys were named “Tommy-Lee.”
It would be foolish to blame the Great Gary Gap entirely on the ignominous fall of Mr. Glitter. Garys have been trending downward for some time. Not surprisingly, not a single one of the vaguely amusing “think pieces” sparked by Gary-quiddick dared to mention the camel in the room:
That as of late last year, the number one name for boys in the UK is “Mohammed.”
If you care to amuse and/or depress yourself, toggle back and forth between the “Gary” graph and the “Mohammed” one at one British baby name website.
And remember if you dare that the collection of this data by the ONS is paid for by the overtaxed, and ever shrinking, “Garys,” while those many, many Mohammeds “ a veritable mountain of them “ suck the system dry.
