June 24, 2014
Harry and Bobby
Sadly, no. But the real story’s almost as good. First Nicole Simpson lost her head, then these guys did too:
Two rival [Los Angeles] TV helicopter pilots who fought publicly over who was the first to spot the infamous OJ Simpson car chase have now become firm friends”after both becoming women.
Speaking of “chases,” you might have seen this young man’s face on your computer screen of late. His parents named him “Chase Culpepper,” which sounds like either the hero in a 1970s Roger Corman outlaw-trucker movie or the villain in a 1980s Harold Ramis movie about pretty much anything.
Perhaps his vaguely fictional-sounding name prompted a lifelong identity crisis, but regardless of his reasons, young Chase showed up to have “his” driver’s license photo taken while wearing full (and expertly applied) makeup, which probably made “him” the most feminine looking individual in the Anderson, South Carolina DMV that afternoon. The Department of Motor Vehicles was not amused. Something called the Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund is not amused by the DMV. Guess who”ll win this round.
Writing about these matters is especially tough on one’s “quotation marks” key. “Editor’s notes” such as this one abound. As World War T shows no sign of winding down, I”m forced to take some small consolation wherever I can find it. Since transsexuals are equally demanding and dithering about how they wish to be addressed by us inferior normals, I”m quite pleased with two classifications of my own coinage, and employ them every time I get the chance:
“Mentally ill amputation fetishists.”
And “suicides in waiting.”
