Source: Bigstock

AwesomeHillaryKiller: . . .

DearLeaderDude: But NOT far enough to hit Arizona, Nevada, Idaho, Utah or Montana.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: What’s your point?

SupremeCommanderDude: Here are the only numbers that matter: 55.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Stop being a douche and tell me what this is about.

SupremeCommanderDude: Electoral votes. California electoral votes.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: OMG.

SupremeCommanderDude: Told you you’d love it.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: :0

SupremeCommanderDude: So what was it you wanted to tell me about Melania?

AwesomeHillaryKiller: 🙂

SupremeCommanderDude: Bro?

AwesomeHillaryKiller: 😛

SupremeCommanderDude: Yeah, love you, too.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: 😉

SupremeCommanderDude: Okay, later. Think about it. I gotta run and salute some submarines and soak up some adulatory chanting. Stay loose and never be afraid to whip it out. Peace, love, party down. Bye.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Wait! You there?

SupremeCommanderDude: Always here for you, Donaroonie.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Just California?

SupremeCommanderDude: It’s actually easier to go Oregon and Washington, unless you want me to mess with Hawaii. Call me sentimental but I love Maui.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: No, just asking.

SupremeCommanderDude: I don’t have unlimited resources over here.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Got it. Can’t be greedy.

SupremeCommanderDude: California’s enough, bro. You can even hit me back. I’ll give you some Yalu River reclamation crap—great CNN visuals and we both look like ballers.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: You’re right. I don’t even need all California, just the coast north of San Diego.

SupremeCommanderDude: Hey, you know what you call a Red Hen over here?

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Don’t do this to me.

SupremeCommanderDude: Commie Pastrami.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: I don’t get it.

SupremeCommanderDude: It’s RED, just like your states.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Gotta go, pizza’s here, youngun.

SupremeCommanderDude: You love doing that, don’t you? Still seven more executions before din-din, homie. Out.

AwesomeHillaryKiller: Are you sure it’s 55? Because that’s awesome.

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