May 05, 2012

Ralph Macchio in the Karate Kid, 1984.

Ralph Macchio in the Karate Kid, 1984.

The Big Brother program easily matches victims with feared protectors. Using a sort of craigslist system, young at-risk homosexuals would tap into the extensive network of “€œmacho”€ gay organizations such as the Lesbian Avengers. Why initiate sensitivity training when calling in some butch dykes would suffice? Harassed Asians might hire the local chapters of Asian Boyz or the LVM Gang. Surely there must be tens of thousands of retired ex-Vietnam vets happy to rescue some picked-on Vietnamese child. In a pinch, victims”€™ parents could collectively employ some edgy local sociopath as a don”€™t-mess-with-me bodyguard. Those who are regularly bullied would wear badges acknowledging their protector. After all, not even the dumbest urban criminal would dare rob a “€œmob protected”€ store.

Next comes the old Wild West “€œequalizer.”€ The National Rifle Association has the Eddie Eagle GunSafe Program which since 1988 has reportedly instructed 21 million children in all 50 states on gun safety. In their words:

The program may be readily incorporated into existing school curriculum, taught in a one- to five-day format, and used to reach both levels or simply one or two grades….The purpose of the Eddie Eagle Program isn’t to teach whether guns are good or bad, but rather to promote the protection and safety of children.

Since NRA membership is not required and there is no actual gun use, the anti-gun folk need not worry about funding gun nuts.

For those a bit older, the NRA has some 65,000 certified instructors offering a wide variety of programs (including some just for women) that teach everything from gun safety to marksmanship. The aim is not to kill bullies but to deter them, to make them question whether today is their lucky day. Protection may consist merely of wearing NRA insignias or forming a school club for regular small-arms training. (Competitive shooting clubs were once common in New York City high schools.)

What makes deterrence effective is the well-known fact that down deep nearly all bullies are cowards. That’s why they pick on the vulnerable rather than somebody their own size. Teaching deterrence would be far more effective”€”and less expensive”€”than trying to train bullies to “€œrespect differences.”€

Everything here is accomplished without Washington’s unconstitutional intervention, without employing yet more bureaucrats, yet with zero anti-hate sensitivity training. There will be no litigation, no task forces, no anti-bullying conferences, nor all the rest so beloved by the Obamaites. And everything is cheap, too. Surely a putative conservative or two can endorse this program.

 

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