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I see the coming election not so much as a contest between Trump and Harris (wacklemore vs. cacklemore), but rather as a test of theories.

The Darren Beattie Theory: What matters in an election isn’t issues. Fuck issues. Voters prefer to mindlessly worship a charismatic leader who says batty things. Issue-focused campaigns are doomed; personality-cultism is where it’s at.

Okay, we’ll see how that goes.

The Musk Theory: If you have the wealthiest man on earth in your corner, the best thing he can do to help you win an election is popularize Nazism and Holocaust denial. Sure, that wealthy man could help in any number of practical ways. But when the wealthy man in question is an impish man-child autist troll, it’s Nazis and Holohoax for everyone!

A novel approach. I’m as curious as you how it’s gonna play out.

The Nutty Fake Memes Theory: Voters don’t want to hear about things that matter in their lives, like inflation and crime. No, they want wacky memes about cat eating! And when those memes are cruelly attacked by the LAMESTREAM MEDIA, the meme-loving voters will find meaning not in faith and family but in defending Catturd against the MAIMSTREAM BLEEDIA! To hell with the offline workaday normies; memers win elections.

An odd view of human nature, to be sure. But who knows?

And finally, the SchvartzeKorps Theory: Americans love blacks and Nazis! And when you put those two things together, you have an unstoppable candidate. Blacks will vote for anyone who looks like them, especially if they’re based (just ignore the graveyard of failed black GOP candidates; like with communism, have faith in the theory, not how it’s previously panned out every single time). And Nazis are the new big thing among voters. So run a black Nazi, you’ll have an unbeatable winner!

Okay, I’d question that one, but hey—what do I know?

Well, maybe a lot. Maybe a fucking lot.

It’s unlikely that N.C. gubernatorial candidate Mark Robinson was vetted beyond “can you tell your ass from Thomas Sowell?” But the fact is, even though his most recent porn-site postings that he’s a “black Nazi” were not known during the primary (they were only recently exposed by the PAINSTREAM GREEDIA!), it was previously quite well-known that the dude has a Hitler obsession, approvingly quoting the Führer, putting the Holocaust in scare quotes, and accusing “the Jews” of milking black people for “shekels.”

I realize that my advice always goes unheeded. Last year Tucker Carlson was caught (via a lawsuit document dump) having shared, back in November 2020, a column of mine in which I counseled rightists to abandon the “stollen election” crap. Tuck liked the column, then went all-in on the stollen election crap, which resulted in the Dominion lawsuit against Fox, which led to the document dump that exposed Tuck as a reader of mine.

Ironic, huh? If Tuck had just taken my advice, nobody would know he reads me!

What’s another piece of advice I’ve attempted to impart to rightists?

Blacks who show any signs of Hitler fetishism or Holocaust denial are even more insane than whites who do the same.

From May 2023:

During my Holocaust revisionist days, one of the most jarring truths was that ALL of the nonwhites in that circle—Hispanics, Ay-rabs, even the occasional black—were dangerously psychotic. Brutish, impulsive, simple-minded, no concept of the intricacies of my work. They were the ones everyone was afraid would pop off and start killing. I’m telling you, from 34 years of experience, that kind of thing (Hitler worship, Holocaust denial) attracts the worst people on earth. The neo-Nazi/Holocaust denial/white supremacist fringe is a cancer. It kills whatever it touches.

Anyone listen to me? Noooooo. The GOP embraced Robinson (and Trump really embraced him), assuming that his public Hitler/Holocaust comments couldn’t possibly be the tip of an iceberg.

I warned ’em, I warned ’em, I warned ’em to be wary of such creatures. And nobody listened.

Fucking idiots.

Okay, I hear a few of you saying, “Dave, lately you’ve been talking too much about the Hollycost and Hitler and WWII.”

Yeah, because so many rightist dumbasses have made it their hill to die on. What the hell do you want me to write about? The minor differences between Nightmare City and the original Italian cut of Incubo Sulla Città Contaminata? I’ll do it, dude. Send enough emails to the editor demanding it, and I’ll shut up about everything except zombie films. And by the way I’ll be a much happier man for it.

But until then…

The right’s problem with Hitler/Holocaust content stems from the abrogation of something rightists used to brag about: respect for skill. “Leftists hire based on race; we do so based on skill!”

But in fact, rightists have abandoned respect for skill, especially when it comes to historiography as a discipline.

Why? Because influencers like Tuck need to always appear cutting-edge! Dangerous! Red-pilly!

Following my critique of Tucker’s new butt-boy Darryl Cooper, I got this comment from a reader:

World War II, Churchill, the official story/narrative is sacred—can t be researched and discussed like other historical events. The official “narrative” is: Hitler bad, Britain led by Churchill good. This official fundamentalist religious myth-narrative can’t even be researched or discussed from any other perspectives—we all must just bow our heads. Anything else is taboo.

Such horseshit. Every single thing Cooper said on Tuck’s podcast was said better and more skillfully by real historians. Like Oxford professor A.J.P. Taylor (named the fourth most important historian of the postwar era by History Today) in his 1961 international bestseller Origins of the Second World War, a book that’s been in publication, and hotly debated, for 63 years (it was even the subject of a televised debate in the U.K.). Cooper breaks no new ground with his poorly presented “hot take” retreads, but Tuck has to present Cooper’s decades-old stale pizza as fresh and sizzling.

And Tuck can do so, knowing that none of his mindless followers will know that this is old, well-trodden territory, because they don’t read.

That’s today’s conservative literature scene in a nutshell: ghostwritten books offered to illiterates.

Ghost writers, ghost readers.

Generally speaking, blacks, millennials, and especially Zoomers never read books. Oh, they read memes! But not books. And blacks, millennials, and Zoomers are the people today’s cool GOP caters to. Remember: Andrew Breitbart said the GOP will never win unless it runs a black prez and a black VP on the same ticket! And the desperate desire to youthanize the party is so reckless, the Wilks Brothers of PragerU and Daily Wire/Ben Shapiro fame offered a big fat contract to Nick Naziboi Fuentes.

So you have people who’ve never read the authors who’ve tackled controversial historical issues with skill, and you have influencers who purposely shield their followers from the existence of books written by skilled historians, so as to seem cutting-edge by presenting a “dangerous” topic “for the first time.”

Any young person, and any black person, who shows an interest in WWII/Holocaust revisionism will be a liability, because you know going in that their views are not based on the works of authors who presented controversial theses intelligently, backed by thorough research. Rather, their views will be based on memes and their own unsourced thoughts, which—to them—are indistinguishable from facts.

It’s a point I made in my piece about Candy Owens and her declaration that she’s the first person ever to breach the “taboo” of portraying the Hiroshima and Nagasaki A-bombings as bad. In fact, it’s a debate that’s been going on longer than I’ve been alive, and the overwhelming majority of voices in the SHAMESTREAM MISDEEDIA have been anti-A-bomb.

But nobody called Candy out, because everyone profits from portraying age-old debates as new, radical, and dangerous (social media only exists for fresh kicks, groundbreaking adventures). And the only way to enforce the illusion that an old debate is a new one is to erase the existence of the old literature. In that way, today’s rightists are the true book suppressors, the true “erasers of history.”

Hence why Hitler quote-spouters and Holocaust scare-quote users like Robinson aren’t grilled by GOP vetters with “What’s the basis for your views? What are your sources?” Rather, they’re welcomed as ultra-mod edgelord whirlwinds who’ll revitalize stodgy old politics with their brazen balls-out revolutionary ideas!

And that’s how you get Mark Robinson, who’s about to take the GOP down in flames in N.C. Nobody vetted him on “Why you quotin’ Hitler, bro?” That he’s an ass-kickin’ based black was all that mattered. Nobody asked, “What’s your basis for these Hitler views?” because such an exchange would’ve been tard-on-tard, a candidate who’s never read a history book grilled by a party operative in the same boat.

To tie in the title of this column, think of WWII/Hitler/Holocaust revisionism as alcohol. Some people can handle it, others can’t. Up until a few years ago, I could be at a bar for twelve hours drinking nonstop and remain as coherent and upright at closing time as I was when I first entered. On the other hand, my porn girl Kera would have two beers and start fighting with patrons and swinging at cops.

So you know what I did? I kept Kera out of bars. I didn’t buy her a bar and make her the manager.

Comprende?

It takes skill to grasp the nuances and intricacies of WWII historiography. To see the gray areas without exchanging one bias for another, without trading one simpleminded worldview for another. And, in general, blacks don’t possess that skill, and millennials/Zoomers really don’t possess that skill.

Everyone on the right who’s pursued the suicidal path of based-over-skill, age-over-skill, race-over-skill, bears responsibility for the disaster that is Mark Robinson.

I’m proffering my advice one last time: Anyone under 35, and anyone black, who expresses an interest in Hitler rehabilitation or WWII revisionism will become a liability who’ll go down in flames and take you along for the ride. Because those demographics cannot skillfully defend their views, as their views are not based on the work of skilled historians.

Complain all you want about the INSANESTREAM SCREEDIA, but when professional journalists put their mind to it, they can dig up some really good dirt (i.e., Robinson’s past). Compare that to your guys, blowhards like Poso and Cerno who get millions of Twitter views by promising major bombshells about Walz or Harris that never materialize.

Don’t hate journalists for doing well by those they serve. Hate your “citizen journalists” for being liars and hacks, and your GOP and MAGA leaders for their incompetence. And stop rewarding it.

Of course, who knows? Maybe it’ll be ol’ Dave who’ll be taught a lesson on November 5th. Maybe Mark Robinson will ride the Nazi thing to a landslide. Maybe it’ll be I who’ll owe an apology to the geniuses who backed him.

No predictions. We’ll just see.

I’m rather looking forward to it.