February 27, 2017
Source: Bigstock
Numero Six-o: Every gang has a sergeant-at-arms, or enforcer. This is the guy who decides when it’s time to use the ball-peen hammer. If the enforcer says it’s gonna be a straight-up, face-to-face fight, because he has respect for the other gang, then that’s what you do. If the enforcer says it’s gonna be an ambush, because it’s somebody who needs to be taught a lesson, then you embarrass him by bringing him into a public place, making him think you”re his friend, and then leaving him by the side of the road with a busted head, like Mitt Romney.
Numero Seven-o: Women can hang around, but they can”t run anything important. As one of the old ladies in Hell’s Angels Forever says, “I been around here four years and I only been hit once. And I deserved all seven of those stitches.” But this philosophy is only for internal use. If an outsider tries to mess with one of your women, he’s a candidate for a beatdown. Fortunately nobody had to get his hands dirty defending Betsy DeVos, because the outsider was Elizabeth Warren, so it was just a catfight. To keep your girls occupied, give them meaningless jobs that kill a lot of time, like polishing your bike or Ambassador to the United Nations.
Numero Eight-o: You can never lie to a fellow member, but you should always lie to the authorities. Motorcycle gangs take their legal strategy from defense attorney Racehorse Haynes of Houston. Racehorse teaches young lawyers that, if somebody sues you because they say they got bit by your dog, then your first defense is “My dog doesn”t bite.” Your second, alternative defense is “My dog was tied up that night.” Your third defense is “I don”t believe you really got bit.” And your fourth defense is “I don”t have a dog.” The other term for this technique is “alternative facts.”
Numero Nine-o: Motorcycle gangs donate money to charities and are always outraged if the money is refused or they don”t get credit for the donation. So the Hell’s Angels have a saying: “When we do right, nobody remembers. When we do wrong, nobody forgets.” They”ve documented this many times. And because they”re demonized by the press, their contributions to the community are ignored and their fistfights exaggerated. The tiniest misstatement by an outlaw gang leader can become a headline. Over time this morphs into a belief that all negative press is actually good press, because the writers are running a rigged game.
Numero Ten-o: All motorcycle clubs want respect, but if they can”t get it, they”ll take fear. When they run out of friends, when the law is on their case, when they need to show the world that they can”t be defeated, they go for a run. They ride two abreast up the coast highway to Monterey, or maybe they organize a desert run from Needles to Vegas. Nobody can touch you when you go on a run. Nobody can mess with your head. Ride wild, ride free. Fly your colors. Show everybody what it means to be a One Percenter. Watch the multitudes cringe and give way. And when you call up the support clubs and you tell them where the run is gonna end up, they all join you there in what’s called a rally. You run down to Melbourne, Fla., on a Saturday and you make each other feel better. The rest of the world is hating on you, but that’s a good thing. That’s proof that you”re an outlaw. That’s proof that your whole lifestyle is the best one in the world.
But you always carry the ball-peen hammer, just in case.
