Source: Bigstock

One more Super Tuesday piece.

George Gascon, the Soros-backed mass-murdering district attorney, was up against a slew of candidates looking to take him down. Gascon had to get over 50 percent of the vote to avoid a runoff in our “top two” primary system, and the friend to all rapists and murderers didn’t even come close.

Gascon managed 25.2 percent. That’s it. He got 369,854 votes. His two top challengers, who ran on “dump Gascon,” got a combined 428,529. Totaling the votes of every candidate who opposed Gascon, even the little fishes, you get 1,098,772.

1,098,772 against Gascon vs. 369,854 for him. Things look good for the November general.

So let’s examine how we’re gonna screw it up.

Conservative author Peachy Keenan is Fox’s favorite pseudonymous “mommy blogger.” She has a huge audience on TV and Twitter, and fans like Tucker Carlson and Mollie Hemingway.

Also, she’s dumb as a brick. And not one of those good bricks you can use as a bookend. One of those crumbly bricks that’d lose a fight with a plate-glass window.

Following Super Tuesday, Peachy posted an election map that went viral on rightist Twitter. The map appeared to show that, in the race to fill Dianne Feinstein’s Senate seat, only coastal California went blue. Everywhere else: red!

“Perfect visual proof that Democrats are the party of out of touch coastal elites,” crowed Peachy. The rest of California went for Garvey; he’s a shoo-in for November!

Now, to be fair, Peachy didn’t create that map; she simply misrepresented it. It’s actually an NY Times interactive map detailing the total vote count for Garvey vs. his three Dem opponents: Schiff, Porter, and Lee. The screenshot posted by Peachy was just the Garvey vs. Schiff numbers, isolated. Almost all of those “red counties” go blue IF you count Garvey vs. the three Dems combined. For example, in red-leaning San Diego County, Garvey did beat Schiff, 205,139 to 163,178. But, if you add the votes for Porter and Lee, you get Garvey 205,139 to Schiff, Porter, and Lee’s combined 274,249.

To be clear, there are counties on that map that are truly red (Kern—27,310 for Garvey, 20,532 for all three Dems combined, Tulare—23,025 for Garvey, 15,995 for all three Dems…Garvey will win those counties easily in November). But by misrepresenting that map—by showing Garvey vs. Schiff without explaining that it was actually Garvey vs. three Dems and Garvey lost against the cumulative Dem vote in most of those “red” counties, Peachy’s not doing rightists any favors, because she’s just created a new MAGA vote-fraud myth that will endure for years.

If Gascon loses in November, Soros will not embarrass himself by claiming “voter fraud.” He and his equally evil son will recalibrate and attack again elsewhere. MAGAs, on the other hand…if Garvey loses in November, and honestly, it’s likely he will, MAGAs will use Peachy’s map as proof that the election was STOLLEN!

“Look at this map! It showed every inland county voted Garvey in the primary. There’s no way he could’ve lost in the general except for DEEP STATE FRAUD! Let’s storm Sacramento!”

You cannot show anything fake to MAGAs, because MAGAs believe everything they see (they’re the David St. Hubbins of politics). Their victimization worldview demands a constant flow of new proof that “they cheated us again!”

Peachy’s map will become part of MAGA lore should Garvey lose. It’ll fuel a new generation of Kari Lake fantasists.

Thanks, Peach.

Oh, and thanks for this, too. That whole “coastal elites” thing. Her fraudulently presented map makes it appear as though every part of Cali went red except for a narrow strip of “coastal elites.” And I might’ve been tolerant of such nonsense had it come from an outsider. But Peachy lives in L.A. County! The blue parts of that map only look “coastal” when viewed from space. In fact, that blue strip goes a hundred miles inland. The blue on the map only looks like a narrow strip because the map’s so zoomed out. Zoom in, and much of that blue is very far indeed from the beach. Very not “coastal,” and very not “elite.”

“Perfect visual proof that Democrats are the party of out of touch coastal elites”? So, South Central L.A. is “coastal elite”? Ladera Heights (64 percent black)? Inglewood (39 percent black)? Compton (25 percent black)?

Lancaster (21 percent black) is included in that blue strip. It’s 71 miles from any beach. If that makes it “coastal,” I’d hate to be a real estate agent there who’s asked by a prospective buyer, “Hey, show me the nearest beach trail!” Even some of the areas in the blue strip that are somewhat “coastal,” like Inglewood (6.7 miles from the beach) and Carson (23 percent black, seven miles from the beach), are hardly “elite.” Carson, home of Hustler Casino, liquor stores, and old ladies murdered by muggers while using their Hustler Casino winnings at liquor stores, is about as elite as my ass, and lemme tell you, my ass ain’t elite (even with the top hat I had tattooed on it in ’98).

Worse still, some of the actual coastal elite areas in Peachy’s map are politically quite red. Rolling Hills, which sits on the cliffs above the ocean in that blue strip (can’t get more “coastal” than that) has the third-highest median home value in the entire U.S. Not California, but the entire U.S. And it went for Trump in 2016 and 2020 (it’s only included in the blue strip because the map is of counties, not cities).

Like so many of today’s rightists—and this applies to the Fox talking heads, the MAGAs, and the alt-rightists—Peachy loves framing everything in the most simpleminded of terms:

The sh*libs control all of the nice places—the ones with beaches, trees, scenic hikes, perfect weather. Red state CA gets sunbaked wastes, meth farms, rubble, and smog.

This is such an idiotic statement, I don’t even know where to start. The truly red parts of this state include some of the most breathtaking rural, mountainous areas in the nation. Places that still have horse trails and parks with no homeless. Oh, and majority white residents. But like all Fox-approved yappers, Peachy don’t ever wanna mention race!

I often get slammed by rightists for talking down to them like children. And sure, I’m a bitter drunken scold. But I’ll never blow smoke up your ass. It’s the Fox and MAGA-approved “personalities” who actually treat you like children, by feeding you lies and then gloating about how you lap ’em up.

Like that Garvey/Schiff map. Peachy gloated, “2.1M views. This post brought us together.” As of now, it has 11.3 million views.

Yes, some of you do lap it up. But I ain’t the one serving it to you.

Okay, at this point you’re likely asking, “Dave, you bitter drunken scold, what’s the point? It seems like you’re just beating up on a popular but dim-witted rightist mommy blogger.”

Okay, here’s the third-act reveal of the “point.” And it has to do with how we might screw up an easy win against Gascon/Soros.

Here’s Peachy tweeting about that race on primary night: “This is the only race I care about. There’s a demon running LA county—and he’s winning LOL. Top 2 go to a runofff. Who’s Hochman? Another maniac?”

So she claims it’s “the only race she cares about,” but she hasn’t taken the five minutes needed to familiarize herself with Gascon’s main opponent? Hochman’s a tough-as-nails law & order former prosecutor. He’s the anti-Gascon. But Peachy prefers misrepresented maps to actual research (if you’d call finding out about Hochman “research.” I’d call it “within the grasp of a retarded lemur”).

Peachy ludicrously claimed that Gascon was “winning,” because she can’t do the simple math of comparing his votes to the cumulative votes of his opponents.

“LOL.”

Rightist influencers care not for details. You’re being spoon-fed by morons who are themselves spoon-fed because things like independent research and basic math are beyond them.

More than that, the simple-minded crap about California’s political geography—and how many times have I drunkenly scolded you guys about the right’s idiotic take on Beverly Hills (“It’s whur da left-wing culubrities dun live, gyuk-gyuk-gyuk)?—isn’t just stupid but harmful. Dismissing the areas that are friendly to your cause means (a) you won’t campaign where the fucking votes are, and (b) you won’t fundraise where the fucking MONEY is.

As I’ve said many times, north (red) Beverly Hills is your friend. Votes and money. Same thing with Rolling Hills. Votes and even more money. But people like Peachy—and, sorry to say, some of you—would rather insult the people who can help rather than accept the assistance they wish to give.

There are other nuances the simpletons ignore by clumsily painting everything red or blue in the first place. There are a great many parts of L.A. County that voted for Biden but rejected the last few Soros-backed pro-crime anarcho-tyranny ballot initiatives. Recognize that.

El Segundo, for example, my home for several years, is one of those beach cities Peachy dismisses as “coastal elite,” when in fact it’s a white enclave heavily comprised of people who work for the Chevron refinery for which the city’s named.

I’ve never thought of refinery workers as “elites,” but then again I don’t appear on Fox, either. So what do I know?

In fact, El Segundo is heavenly. One of the safest cities in the state, pristine beaches, community cookouts and fireworks in the massive Main Street park that has a half-dozen baseball diamonds and hot dog stands and no basketball courts. These are neither “elites” nor “shitlibs”; these are the whites the GOP should be courting, not alienating.

Yes, El Segundo went for Biden. Also yes, it went against the Dem-backed “no bail; criminals walk free” and “restore affirmative action” ballot initiatives. These residents are persuadables, and in down-ballot nonpartisan races, persuadables matter.

So how ’bout we don’t piss them off when something as important as defeating Soros is on the line?

Lives depend on this. If Gascon wins reelection, innocent people will die.

You don’t have to want to help, but Christ, don’t harm. Don’t spread fakes, don’t insult the communities where the money, the red voters, and the persuadables are. Learn about a race before tweeting about it. If you have a following, use it intelligently and not just for LULZ and viral frauds. You don’t even have to like L.A. or California. But a defeat for Soros here will help shift the momentum against him elsewhere. Gascon losing America’s most populous county to his polar opposite could turn the tide against the BLM/Floyd-inspired soft-on-crime insanity that, yes, even gripped certain “red” states.

There’s a difference between not helping and actively harming. All I ask is that you not do the latter in the Gascon race.

I know…I’m pissing in the wind.

Still, even a bitter drunken scold can dream.