The Week’s Most Griefing, Debriefing, and Autumn-Leafing Headlines PRINCESS OF WHALES Nobody’s saying Rolling Stone film critic Katie Rife is fat, but her dress size is IMAX. ...

The Week’s Most Rancorous, Cankerous, and Cantankerous Headlines THE EMPEROR JONESTOWN If Corn Pop was a bad dude, wait till you meet Soda Pop. Get ready for carbonated ...

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The Week’s Most Staid, Unmade, and Labor Day’d Headlines ECCE HOMA You let one black cannibal killer go free, and folks never let you live it down. In 2021, Oklahoma ...

The Week’s Most Nixing, Transfixing, and Netflixing Headlines THE CASE OF THE NAPPY NAPKIN NAPPING For black women in Houston who need help with unmanageable hair, Erin Mims is ...

The Week’s Most Slicken, Wiccan, and Drought-Stricken Headlines SALMAN FILLET Ayatollah Khomeini wore many turbans. Brutal dictator and architect of Iran’s Islamic ...

The Week’s Most Guessing, Confessing, and Stop-the-Pressing Headlines THE CHUNG POISONER’S HANDBOOK Say Yu, say me Say it for always That bitch poisoned my tea! Tiger mom, ...

The Week’s Most Spanking, Banking, and Pranking Headlines CHINAMAN WOKS THE PRANK Me Chinese, Me make joke, Me make fools of African folk. As China ruthlessly colonizes ...

The Week’s Most Craving, Slaving, and Heat-Waving Headlines GIVING BLACKS THE BIG BIRD Over the years, Sesame Street has pandered to the “diversity and inclusion” crowd ...

The Week’s Most Newtonian, Draconian, and Babylonian Headlines YOU WIN SOME, YOU NEWSOM California’s name is attached to many things. The California roll, the California ...

The Week’s Most Sniping, Griping, and Stars-and-Striping Headlines MORE THAN A WOMB ’UN The womb is back, and wetter than ever. After years of stern lectures from leftists ...

As speaker at a posh dinner given by Jonathan and Jake Goedhuis, the best U.K. wine merchants by far, and attended by many swells including Anthony Mangnall MP, I somehow managed ...

The Week’s Most Eeny, Meeny, and Juneteeny Headlines 31 FLAVORS A SLAVE Juneteenth, a Texas-originated celebration marking the end of slavery, had traditionally been a ...

The Week’s Most Flaying, Fraying, and Flag-Daying Headlines WET BACK TO WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED It’s back! The parade no one wants. No floats, just flotsam. The marching band ...

The Week’s Roomiest, Zoomiest, and June Gloomiest Headlines THE LONG CON Not since the wife in Gone Girl has someone made such vindictive use of their death. Jimbo Jackson was ...

The Week’s Most Flaying, Spaying, and Memorial Daying Headlines OKAY, WHO CAUSED A TEMPORAL PARADOX? In the Bizarro 1980s (an inverted-reality dimension), Philip Michael Thomas ...