The Week’s Most Remembered, Dismembered, and Decembered Headlines WOE-PENING CEREMONIES A dictatorship where slavery is commonplace, homosexuality is illegal, and women are ...

The Week’s Most Romping, Stomping, and Turkey-Chomping Headlines UNKINDERTRANSPORT Not since the Holocaust or the Seinfeld finale have Jews had such a bad week. First, there ...

The Week’s Most Perming, Squirming, and Midterming Headlines GUNFIGHT AT THE O.G. CORRAL In The Little Mermaid, Hans Christian Andersen described Ariel as “white,” with ...

The Week’s Most Glowering, Empowering, and Gain-an-Houring Headlines COUNTING (JIM) CROWS Orwell was a genius. Prescient, prophetic, a visionary. Well, in everything but title ...

The Week’s Most Randying, Bandying, and Halloween Candying Headlines HAPPY HITLERWEEN! With Halloween parties and trick-or-treating back in full-swing post-pandemic, the woke ...

The Week’s Flukiest, Kookiest, and Spookiest Headlines AFRICAN-AMERICAN SNIPER NewsOne bills itself as “Breaking News for Black People.” It carries headline stories of ...

The Week’s Most Snatching, Hatching, and Pumpkin-Patching Headlines IT’S THE GREAT PUNKIN’, GNARLY BROWN History has a habit of repeating itself, especially for those too ...

The Week’s Most Ailing, Failing, and Columbus-Sailing Headlines RAM-COM Journalist Chloe Angyal of Marie Claire holds “a Ph.D. in media studies with a focus on romantic ...

The Week’s Most Supernova, Apache Cordova, and Shana Tova Headlines YO’ MAMA KIPPUR For Jews, these are the High Holy Days, the period of getting atoned between Rosh Hashanah ...

The Week’s Most Griefing, Debriefing, and Autumn-Leafing Headlines PRINCESS OF WHALES Nobody’s saying Rolling Stone film critic Katie Rife is fat, but her dress size is IMAX. ...

The Week’s Most Rancorous, Cankerous, and Cantankerous Headlines THE EMPEROR JONESTOWN If Corn Pop was a bad dude, wait till you meet Soda Pop. Get ready for carbonated ...

The Week’s Most Crooning, Spooning, and Harvest Mooning Headlines QUEEN BEE (GONE) R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth, who passed away at age 96 after ramming her car into a house at full ...

The Week’s Most Staid, Unmade, and Labor Day’d Headlines ECCE HOMA You let one black cannibal killer go free, and folks never let you live it down. In 2021, Oklahoma ...

The Week’s Most Nixing, Transfixing, and Netflixing Headlines THE CASE OF THE NAPPY NAPKIN NAPPING For black women in Houston who need help with unmanageable hair, Erin Mims is ...

GSTAAD—As the great Yogi Berra explained, “It’s déjà vu all over again.” The great one also contributed the following wisdom: “You can observe a lot by watching.” ...

The Week’s Most Slicken, Wiccan, and Drought-Stricken Headlines SALMAN FILLET Ayatollah Khomeini wore many turbans. Brutal dictator and architect of Iran’s Islamic ...