The Week’s Most Hopping, Bopping, and Last-Minute-Shopping Headlines MAGILL, A GORILLA In a coda to the disastrous congressional testimony by U Penn president Liz Magill and ...

The Week’s Most Skimming, Brimming, and Tree-Trimming Headlines BAYSQUASH For blacks, swimming in the ocean can be hazardous. So can sitting on the beach, apparently—odd as ...

The Week’s Most Embering, Dismembering, and December-to-Remembering Headlines BLACK MAGICAL KINGDOM For the first time since 2014, not a single Disney film this year has earned ...

The Week’s Quirkiest, Jerkiest, and Leftover-Turkiest Headlines GOING COLD TURKEY Another Thanksgiving come and gone. And, as every year, a cavalcade of op-eds about how the ...

The Week’s Most Wasting, Pasting, and Turkey-Basting Headlines RICKET SCIENTISTS Welcome to this weekend’s edition of Lowclassterpiece Theatre. When Minot, North Dakota, ...

The Week’s Most Hissing, Prissing, and Armisticing Headlines ALL THAT FRITTERS IS NOT GOLD Patrisse Cullors is the BLM zeppelin who embezzled millions of George Floyd bucks ...

The Week’s Most Flocking, Mocking, and Turn-Back-the-Clocking Headlines URINE FOR A TREAT! The gig-economy food delivery industry is just one “Professor Cumcookies” away ...

The Week’s Most Preening, Demeaning, and Halloweening Headlines HEAVY ARTERIAL BOMBARDMENT Nobody’s saying 550-pound BLM activist Zyahna Bryant is fat, but... George Floyd ...

The Week’s Most Lying, Trying, and Pumpkin-Buying Headlines SNOW WHITEFISH In the Brothers Grimm fairy tale “The Jew in Thorns,” a young servant feeds a starving dwarf, who ...

The Week’s Most Kinetic, Frenetic, and Poetic Headlines FRIENDLY SERVICE WITH A HEIL A Nazi in uniform walks into a taco joint in Texas. He sits at a table. Confused and ...

The Week’s Most Biting, Alighting, and GOP-Infighting Headlines THE PUDSUCKER PROXY A Gavin Newsom/Dianne Feinstein duet: Feinstein: Don’t cry for me, California! Ché ...

The Week’s Most Jesting, Besting, and Oktoberfesting Headlines ALL HEBREWS’ EVE With October upon us, it’s a good time to salute an unsung hero of Halloween: Paul Rebalde ...

The Week’s Most Bummer, Mummer, and Farewell to Summer Headlines SAGGY ASSES The actors’ strike marches on! Well, limps. The war between streamers and studios on one side ...

The Week’s Most Fazing, Gazing, and High Holy Dazing Headlines OLD SMELLER When the Japanese lunatic who bought a lifelike “human dog” costume tells the NY Post that he ...

The Week’s Most Drooling, Tooling, and Back-to-Schooling Headlines KAMI-KAMI-KAMI-KAMIKAZE CHAMELEON In the Philippines, September 3rd is known as Yamashita Surrender Day, ...

The Week’s Most Sabering, Neighboring, and Day-of-Laboring Headlines 2023: A SPICE ODYSSEY A prehistoric veldt in South Asia. Members of a hairy, knuckle-walking Paleolithic ...