The Week's Most Inveterate, Degenerate, and Confederate Headlines GAY LAWYER HASSLES IVANKA TRUMP ON A PLANE Ivanka Trump is the beautiful and eminently bangable blonde daughter ...

The Week's Rudest, Crudest, and Lewdest Headlines MICHELLE OBAMA FEELS HOPELESS Michelle Obama is feted and loved around the world for no other apparent reason than the fact that ...

The Week's Gassiest, Brassiest, and Classiest Headlines GEERT WILDERS FOUND GUILTY OF HATE SPEECH, MAY BECOME DUTCH PRIME MINISTER ANYWAY Like Donald Trump, Dutch politician ...

The Week's Most Offensive, Apprehensive, and Hypertensive Headlines WILL A BLACK MUSLIM HEAD THE DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL COMMITTEE? As further evidence that it remains painfully ...

The Week's Most Carcinogenic, Schizophrenic, and Estrogenic Headlines SIEG-HEILING ALONG THE POTOMAC Ever since Donald Trump scored an unexpected electoral victory earlier this ...

The Week's Most Deluded, Denuded, and Polluted Headlines TWITTER PURGES ALT-RIGHT ACCOUNTS Since leftism is based on the implausible and transparently fraudulent notion of innate ...

The Week's Most Glorious, Meritorious, and Victorious Headlines SPECIAL POST-ELECTION EDITION: FEAR OF A TRUMPOCALYPSE Donald Trump will be the 45th President of the United ...

The Week’s Most Austere, Unclear, and Insincere Headlines BARKING MANATEE LENA DUNHAM CALLS FOR THE EXTINCTION OF WHITE MEN Lena Dunham is an unforgivably overweight and ...

The Week's Most Phallic, Gallic, and Microcephalic Headlines HILLARY GETS SCHLONGED BY WEINER After a week that had already seen her lead over Donald Trump in the polls rapidly ...

The Week’s Most Unreliable, Unverifiable, and Unjustifiable Headlines JOURNALISTS PUT THEIR MONEY ON CLINTON Despite reams of evidence that American media is tilted ...

The Week's Most Global, Immobile, and Ignoble Headlines DREAMING OF A WHITE PUMPKIN As the air grows cooler and the days grow shorter, we gather together this holiday season to ...

The Week's Most Spastic, Drastic, and Plastic Headlines BILL CLINTON’S FEMALE ACCUSERS GO BONKERS ON SOCIAL MEDIA While the bombshell news story over the weekend was the ...

The Week's Most Dysgenic, Unhygienic, and Inauthentic Headlines UNITED NATIONS: "€œSTOP TRUMP"€ The United Nations is a wonderful organization that was built upon World War ...

The Week's Most Neurotic, Narcotic, and Sclerotic Headlines DON KING: “THE WHITE WOMAN” SHOULD VOTE FOR TRUMP Legendary boxing promoter Don King is known for his ...

The Week's Most Conspiratorial, Dictatorial, and Accusatorial Headlines MEXICAN NEWSPAPER: WE NEED TO BUILD A WALL A newspaper in that wondrously vibrant, spicy, technologically ...

The Week’s Most Pathetic, Splenetic, and Phrenetic Headlines HILLARY CLINTON: STILL NOT SICK In order to silence the endlessly paranoid conspiracy theories spawned like ...