The Week’s Most Surly, Squirrely, and Girly Headlines COVINGTON KID SUES WASHINGTON POST FOR $250 MILLION Until it was buried under the avalanche of publicity surrounding ...

The Week’s Toniest, Stoniest, and Phoniest Headlines TRUMP SIGNS IMMIGRATION BILL, THEN ROLLS IT UP AND STABS SUPPORTERS IN THE BACK WITH IT The main promise of Donald ...

The Week’s Most Autistic, Fascistic, and Onanistic Headlines LIAM NEESON’S RACIAL RAPE REVENGE FANTASY Irish-born actor Liam Neeson is famous for saving Jews in ...

The Week’s Most Unsuited, Disputed, and Polluted Headlines VIRGINIA GOVERNOR RALPH “COONMAN” NORTHAM REFUSES TO RESIGN Before launching a successful campaign for ...

The Week’s Most Conceited, Defeated, and Maltreated Headlines CALIFORNIA AQUARIUM SHAMED FOR FAT-SHAMING AN OTTER If your personal struggle to achieve social justice ...

The Week’s Most Pensive, Offensive, and Hypertensive Headlines GAY MAFIA HOBBLES “BAD BOY OF BALLET” Ukrainian-born Sergei Polunin is considered one of the world’s ...

On Sunday, December 30 2018 near Houston, TX at around 6:50AM, a seven-year-old black girl named Jazmine Barnes was shot to death in the backseat of her mother’s car. Her ...

The Week’s Most Jarring, Marring, and Scarring Headlines SHOULD FAT-SHAMING BE A HATE CRIME? Throughout human history until perhaps the past five years, everyone thought it ...

The Week’s Most Shameless, Aimless, and Blameless Headlines JAMES WATSON: STILL GLOOMY ABOUT THE PROSPECT OF AFRICA Nobel Prize-winning biologist James D. Watson helped ...

The Week’s Stinkiest, Kinkiest, and Dinkiest Headlines LEBRON JAMES APOLOGIZES TO JEWS FOR FALSELY SUGGESTING THEY HAVE A LOT OF MONEY Superstar basketballer and Rhodes ...

The Week’s Rudest, Crudest, and Shrewdest Headlines RUDOLPH THE RACIST, SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC REINDEER Yuletide is upon us, oh ye rosy-cheeked readers, and it wouldn’t be a ...

The Week’s Most Profane, Insane, and Inhumane Headlines HURRAH! WEEKLY STANDARD SHUTS DOWN Ding-dong, the bloated neocon witch is dead! Bill Kristol, best known the ...

The Week’s Most Demonic, Sardonic, and Chthonic Headlines POPE TO GAY PRIESTS: TAKE A HIKE In a new book based on an interview he gave in August, Pope Francis paused ...

The Week’s Cruddiest, Muddiest, and Bloodiest Headlines TWITTER’S GRAND INCREDIBLE TRANS DELUSION If you’re worried about getting banned from Twitter, hard experience ...

The Week's Most Defective, Subjective, and Corrective Headlines DOG ACCUSED OF RACIST HATE CRIME Since “hate” is an entirely subjective term, it should never be used in ...

The Week’s Most Diverse, Averse, and Perverse Headlines MICHELLE OBAMA: PRETTY, YOU KNOW, LIKE, DUMB Michelle Obama is easily the most famous and beloved big-shouldered ...