The Week’s Most Pensive, Offensive, and Hypertensive Headlines GAY MAFIA HOBBLES “BAD BOY OF BALLET” Ukrainian-born Sergei Polunin is considered one of the world’s ...

On Sunday, December 30 2018 near Houston, TX at around 6:50AM, a seven-year-old black girl named Jazmine Barnes was shot to death in the backseat of her mother’s car. Her ...

The Week’s Most Jarring, Marring, and Scarring Headlines SHOULD FAT-SHAMING BE A HATE CRIME? Throughout human history until perhaps the past five years, everyone thought it ...

The Week’s Most Shameless, Aimless, and Blameless Headlines JAMES WATSON: STILL GLOOMY ABOUT THE PROSPECT OF AFRICA Nobel Prize-winning biologist James D. Watson helped ...

The Week’s Stinkiest, Kinkiest, and Dinkiest Headlines LEBRON JAMES APOLOGIZES TO JEWS FOR FALSELY SUGGESTING THEY HAVE A LOT OF MONEY Superstar basketballer and Rhodes ...

The Week’s Rudest, Crudest, and Shrewdest Headlines RUDOLPH THE RACIST, SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC REINDEER Yuletide is upon us, oh ye rosy-cheeked readers, and it wouldn’t be a ...

The Week’s Most Profane, Insane, and Inhumane Headlines HURRAH! WEEKLY STANDARD SHUTS DOWN Ding-dong, the bloated neocon witch is dead! Bill Kristol, best known the ...

The Week’s Most Demonic, Sardonic, and Chthonic Headlines POPE TO GAY PRIESTS: TAKE A HIKE In a new book based on an interview he gave in August, Pope Francis paused ...

The Week’s Cruddiest, Muddiest, and Bloodiest Headlines TWITTER’S GRAND INCREDIBLE TRANS DELUSION If you’re worried about getting banned from Twitter, hard experience ...

The Week's Most Defective, Subjective, and Corrective Headlines DOG ACCUSED OF RACIST HATE CRIME Since “hate” is an entirely subjective term, it should never be used in ...

The Week’s Most Diverse, Averse, and Perverse Headlines MICHELLE OBAMA: PRETTY, YOU KNOW, LIKE, DUMB Michelle Obama is easily the most famous and beloved big-shouldered ...

The Week’s Most Pornographic, Typographic, and Demographic Headlines NEVADA VOTERS ELECT DEAD PIMP As the proprietor of Nevada’s Moonlite Bunnyranch and six other legal ...

The Week’s Slimiest, Grimiest, and Hymiest Headlines MICHAEL MOORE: STILL WHITE, ANGRY, AND FAT Michael Moore is the most successful white lesbian documentarian of all time. ...

The Week’s Most Squirmy, Wormy, and Germy Headlines SINEAD O’CONNOR IS NOW ISLAM’S PROBLEM Sinead O’Connor is a mentally ill bag o’ postmenopausal bones whose ...

The Week’s Most Frenetic, Splenetic, and Apathetic Headlines ELIZABETH WARREN PROVES THAT RACE IS MORE THAN A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT By releasing her DNA results in order to claim ...

The Week’s Most Uxurious, Notorious, and Vainglorious Headlines IS HILLARY CLINTON PLOTTING A HOMICIDAL LEFTIST TAKEOVER? Although we cannot verify it, we suspect that ...