The Week’s Most Degrading, Upbraiding, and Ukraine-Invading Headlines WAG THE DOG-EARED In a 2004 episode of The Wire, drug kingpin and would-be legitimate businessman Stringer ...

The Week’s Most Basking, Multitasking, and Unnecessarily Masking Headlines THE GU-GU MOLLS Welcome to the 2022 Winter Olympics, where athletes from around the world are ...

The Week’s Most Fidgeting, Widgeting, and Midgeting Headlines TERRORS OF TINY TOWN Dwarf actors are kings of the self-own. You hire them, and they always find some way to screw ...

The Week’s Most Galling, Appalling, and Stonewalling Headlines JEWDUNIT It’s easy to imagine Anne Frank sitting beside Emmett Till in the great beyond, yelling down at the ...

The Week’s Most Hibernal, Nocturnal, and Sempiternal Headlines WAKE-OB’S LADDER In the wokeness ecosystem, one corrupt race-hustler springs forth from another, which sprung ...

The Week’s Most Flaying, Braying, and MLK-ing Headlines NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH JEW-CONTRITION New Mexico consistently scores worst-of-the-worst in terms of poverty and ...

The Week’s Most Shaking, Baking, and Resolution-Breaking Headlines MINER 1619ER Did you know that black women are God? That’s an actual talking point these days, and like a ...

The Week’s Most Defining, Refining, and Auld Lang Syne-ing Headlines BONNIE AND CLOD In 2019, while promoting her “black Bonnie and Clyde” movie Queen & Slim, ...

The Week’s Most Drifting, Uplifting, and Regifting Headlines ONE FIN, TWO FIN, REDFIN, F.U.-FIN Seattle-based real estate brokerage website Redfin boasts a team of Pacific ...

The Week’s Most Chiding, Abiding, and Yuletiding Headlines THE BAD PARENT-HOOD Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow...with murderousness! Last week in Garden Grove, Calif., a ...

The Week’s Most Shaking, Baking, and Merrymaking Headlines “I’M DREAMING OF AN ANTIWHITE CHRISTMAS!” BLM has declared war on Christmas. After all, who’s more of a white ...

The Week’s Most Cradling, Ladling, and Dreideling Headlines INDIGENOUS INDIGNITIES Last week was a bad one for fake Injuns. First there was Lewis Rath, an emaciated vegan ...

The Week’s Most Herky, Jerky, and Stuffed-With-Turkey Headlines MASKS SAVE LIVES (BECAUSE WE’LL KILL YOU IF YOU DON’T WEAR ONE) There’s an old vaudeville routine about a ...

The Week’s Most Jittery, Glittery, and Skittery Headlines SESAME STREET’S SLIPPERY SLOPE “The eyes are the window to the soul.” No two people agree on where that phrase ...

The Week’s Most Classified, Sassified, and Gassified Headlines JUMPIN’ JOE FLASH, IT’S A GAS GAS GAS! Last week’s 2021 U.N. Climate Change Conference was held in Glasgow, ...

The Week’s Most Abjectioning, Electioning, and Insurrectioning Headlines CUNNING STUNTS Last week’s election provided many fine opportunities for schadenfreude. Ibram X. ...