WEST ORANGE, N.J.—When I was a young man, and the editor, or the producer, or the executive, would tell me that he was about to censor me, the reason was always, “Your ...

PORT ORCHARD, Wash.—So, yeah, it’s kind of obvious why Robert Mueller’s “secret questions that he wants to ask Trump” got leaked to the New York Times. I could have ...

NEW YORK—Leave it to a bunch of self-important self-righteous self-serious journalists to miss the whole point. (That’s what they call themselves. They prefer the French word ...

NEW YORK—Several hundred emails pour in each week asking me about the Joe Bob Wellness Regimen. People wanna know, “How do you do it, Joe Bob? Glowing skin after a three-day ...

NEW YORK—At first I was just like everyone else. Why would Scott Pruitt, the head of the Environmental Protection Agency, need twelve extra highly trained SWAT-team-capable ...

CHATTANOOGA, Tenn.—Just when those New Zealand possum jackets started to take off, San Francisco had to go and ban fur. Actually, they didn’t ban all fur. Sheep and lamb are ...

STAUNTON, Va.—I just recently realized that I’m a miserable selfish tone-deaf insensitive creep. Why didn’t I see this before? All those years of reading the Times, the ...

NEW YORK—I’ve been reading this indictment of the thirteen people who supposedly disrupted the 2016 election. Are you kidding me? These are intelligence agents. I mean, some ...

NEW YORK—A stroll down Bleecker Street, once a haven for bars, nightclubs, Off Broadway theaters, Mafia hangouts, beatnik cafés, and weird secondhand shops, has recently become ...

NEW YORK—Now that we have all these legal weed growers, plus all these legal middlemen making brownies and lozenges and Maryjane Chewies, plus all the legal weed shops in ...

NEW YORK—“I’m spiritual but not religious.” WTF. Why do people say this? Yes, we know you’re spiritual. Everybody is spiritual. Mafia hitmen are spiritual. We’re all ...

NEW YORK—If anybody in the reality TV world remembers Judge Wapner, the original host of The People’s Court, I doubt that they remember what he stood for. He stood for the ...

NEW YORK—Back in the bad old days of the cocaine epidemic, there was a sheriff in Jasper County, Texas, who was visited one morning by four federal agents—two from the FBI and ...

NEW YORK—I think Clarence Thomas made the right decision in the Wild Party House Case before the Supreme Court, but I think maybe my reasons would be different from his ...

NEW YORK—Apparently a whole bunch of CEOs and public officials and celebrities and high sheriffs of various sorts have been writhing around in their mahogany offices, screaming ...

DALLAS—My buddy Don Graham just finished a book on the State Bible of Texas. I speak, of course, of Giant, the 1956 multigenerational epic starring Rock Hudson and Elizabeth ...