Rise of the Crypto-Caucasians

There’s an old saying I just coined: “You can ignore the race war, but the race war won’t ignore you.” No matter how insulated you think you are, the people in this ...

‘Hamilton’: The Obama Administration on Stage

Before I finally watched Hamilton, Lin-Manuel Miranda’s colossally popular Broadway musical depicting the Founding Fathers as rapping Men of Color, I had never heard that it’s ...

“Roast in Hell, Old White Man”

Hollywood’s moral compass points in only one direction—the wrong way. There is no better example of Hollywood’s inverted sense of morality than the fact that as our ...

Ellen DeGeneres

America’s Lesbian Sweetheart

Ellen DeGeneres was born with this face, and that’s the plain truth. If you think there’s any more nuanced or complicated reason beyond that for why she “became” a ...

Mo'Nique

Bleeding Hearts and Bloody Whores

I’ll begin this week’s sermon, I mean column, with the Parable of the Hemorrhaging Mexican Whore. I used to have this friend—I won’t say his name because he’s an actor ...

Call of Duty: ‘1917’

2019 turned out to be a good year for quality guy movies after all, as several veteran directors ignored the anti-male zeitgeist and just shot the films they’ve long wanted to ...

‘Little Women’: Tween Tale

The umpteenth remake of Little Women, Louisa May Alcott’s witty 1868 girls’ novel about growing up in Concord, Massachusetts, during the Civil War, is directed by Greta Gerwig ...

Hollywood Conservatives’ Year of Self-Harm

This should’ve been a happy Christmas for right-wing cinephiles like myself. The “social justice” horror film Black Christmas landed with the squishy thud of Oprah slipping ...

‘Richard Jewell’: The Problem With Profiling

Richard Jewell is director Clint Eastwood’s well-acted, solidly scripted biopic about the racial-profiling fiasco that undermined the 1996 Atlanta Olympics bombing ...

Christopher Plummer

The U.K. vs. U.S. Detective Debate

The mystery movie Knives Out is an allegory about how Americans deserve to lose our homeland to Latin American immigrants out of our self-destructive hatred for each other. But ...

‘Midway’: Effective Bang-Bang-Boom-Boom

Midway is a surprisingly accurate and competent WWII movie about the most thrilling naval battle in American history. While only 38 percent of film critics gave the film a ...

Shelby Mustang GT500 Cabrio Eleanor 1967

When the Future Was Faster

2019 was supposed to be Hollywood’s year of Intersectional Diversity, but the handful of good films—such as Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, Joker, The Irishman, and now Ford v ...

ScorseseLand

Martin Scorsese is trending on Twitter for denouncing superhero movies as being more like theme parks than films because “Cinema is an art form that brings you the ...

Arkham’s Razor

Joker is a clever and memorable (although not terribly original or enjoyable) R-rated art-house drama in the tradition of Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy masquerading as yet ...

I Went to See Joker and Didn’t Get Shot

On Friday at high noon, I saw a matinee of the feverishly hyped film Joker at a megaplex in rural Georgia on the first day of its official release. As we handed our tickets to the ...

The Hunt

Right-Wing Boob Job

During my five years with Friends of Abe, the “secret” (and boozy) organization of Hollywood conservatives, in between boilermakers at Barney’s Beanery we used to bitch ...


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