Belmont Park

Wishing I’d Played the Ponies

I was tempted to have a flutter on the Belmont Stakes last weekend. Not that I’m much of a horseracing fan. It’s only that I’ve been feeling exceptionally idle lately. When ...

JonBenét Ramsey

A Statistician’s Imprecise Analysis of True Crime

Bill James, the baseball statistics analyst who has been one of the most revolutionary influences upon American sport and thought over the last generation, has now published a ...

Broken-Hipped & Bedridden, Happily Antisocial Wife, and Granny Needs a Nanny

Dear Delphi, I have been bedridden recently because I broke my hip in a fall. I am no spring chicken: I am a 70-year-old man and do not expect to live much longer; my body is ...

Alexander McQueen

Objets d′Art: Nothing More Than Objets

I usually go to art shows to look at fashion, but last week I went to a fashion show to look at art. The actress Chloë Sevigny held her first runway show for Opening Ceremony in ...

Reading, Writing, and Rupert

The Briterati, as I call Britain’s media pontificators on matters spiritual and temporal, are in a spin over reports that parents no longer read to their children and that the ...

Just Another Fairytale Lesbian Blogger From Damascus

The eminently credible mainstream media was all aflame last Tuesday with reports that a prominent lesbian blogger in Syria had been captured by armed-and-hairy secret police who ...

When Kindergarteners Are Killers

Near midnight on Friday, June 3, Kansas City police were called to a house in a blighted section of town to find an eighteen-month-old male corpse that had been floating dead in a ...

The High Cost of Insulting a Canadian Lesbian

On April 20th of this year, a group called the BCHRT (British Columbia Human Rights Tribunal, a sort of maple-syrup-flavored version of a Stalinist show-trial committee) fined ...

Burt Reynolds

An Open Letter to Men Who Send Dick Shots to Women

Dear Men Who Send Dick Shots to Women, Women do not want to see your dick. They aren’t interested in your abs, and they don’t care how much weight you lost. Men get dumped ...

Lymphoma Lime

Twisty Colored Cancer Ribbons for All!

Did you know that four percent of the US population—one in 25 of us—are now “cancer survivors”? This I read in TIME magazine’s current issue, whose cover story concerns ...

Michael Fassbender, Rose Byrne and January Jones

Malcolm X-Men

X-Men: First Class is the fifth screen adaptation since 2000 of the Marvel Comics series. What’s the appeal of these Homo superior mutants whose superpowers cause them to be ...

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Bananas

Strident Darwinist propaganda has convinced most people that man is created in the image and likeness of ape. And as we’re almost equal to apes genetically, doesn’t it ...

Defecation Vacation, Abortion Distortion, and Cheater Defeater

Dear Delphi, I went for a weekend to the Bahamas with a group of friends. One of the couples has a four-year-old who still poops in his pants. OK, I thought four was old to still ...

Dominique Gaston André Strauss-Kahn

Pepé Le Perv: France’s Gift to American Tabloids

NEW YORK—About once every hundred years the French nation presents America with a monumental gift. In 1781 it was 29 warships, 3,200 sailors, and 4,500 soldiers who hooked up ...

An Impermanent Paradise Called California (Part Two)

The California that gave us the film industry was far from a blank slate. In addition to the land barons, Midwesterners, and gurus whom I mentioned last time, there had also been ...

The Memorial Day Mobs

Though few Americans realize it, Memorial Day has roots that are partially racial in nature. It was originally called “Decoration Day” and was first celebrated by a group ...


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