Helen Thomas

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Scintillating, Titillating, and Debilitating Headlines THE DEATH OF HELEN THOMAS Former UPI journalist Helen Thomas, who seems to have personally monitored ...

A Slow News Week

Life under Jim Snow "”€ Guilty of Bad Thoughts? "”€ Stand Your Ground stupidity "”€ Immigration bill roundup "”€ The Naked and the Bread "”€ Name that moon! "”€ Pee ...

Everything I Learned in College Was a Lie

TV actress Leah Remini renounced Scientology last week. I assume she's looking back on the past decade and wondering what she was thinking. I know how she feels. I was also a ...

Paxos, Greece

Black Belts and Golden Dawn

I am about to leave for karate camp in Thun, Switzerland: four days of double sessions lasting one hour and forty-five minutes each, with three hundred black belts from all over ...

Rudolph Giuliani

Post-Zimmerman Fallout

Well, thank goodness that's over. Some themes from the political and social commentary are still hanging in the air, though, like wisps of smoke after a brushfire. I"€™ll note a ...

The Failure of Profiling Racists

What can we learn from the media and government frenzy to railroad George Zimmerman, a campaign that continues even after his acquittal, with the Obama Administration now ...

A Paean to Pamplona

In 2009 I first came to Pamplona to run with the bulls. I was terrified in that complete and overwhelming way that total ignorance brings, standing on a street corner and waiting ...

When Educators Wind Up Incarcerated

You"€™ll notice pretty quickly if you tune in to underclass sideshows such as Judge Judy that the hapless participants, whatever their age or color, have one thing in ...

Ballad of a Marked Man

George Zimmerman is now a free man. He is free to be stalked, threatened, harassed, persecuted, and possibly killed at the hands of the perpetual malcontents who are sorely ...

The Week That Perished

The week’s most inflammatory, defamatory, and masturbatory headlines 1. “TWEET, TWEET,” SAID THE STOOL PIGEON Twitter, the premier website for the world’s ...

Letters From a Screenwriter in Trouble

Dear Gato, I told you I’d relate the details of Mickey’s latest fiasco. I’m a man of my word. Here we go. My friend Doe Kazu is shooting a sci-fi action ...

Demographic Losers

As Radio Derb always tells you, diversity is like salt in your stew: a little improves the flavor, too much and you're in Yugoslavia "€” a nation which, just to remind you, no ...

Sweating the Small Stuff

One of the best things about living in the country is how little you care about "€œcity"€ issues such as the Peruvian Kraut who killed a gangster's son or a bunch of savages ...

Alexandria, Egypt circa 1950

The Lost Charm of Egypt

I remember it well. It was July 1952, and I was dining with my parents at the Palm Beach Casino’s patio in Cannes when my father got up and went inside to gamble. He came back ...

Hank Williams

Quarterly Potpourri

Oops, I did it again. I’m so out of touch with the zeitgeist, I’m always honestly surprised when something I write stirs people up. “You’ve done it ...

Don”€™t Tug on Lucifer’s Cape

In his first letter to "€œGod's elect, exiles scattered throughout the provinces,"€ the apostle (then Pope, later Saint) Peter warned his flock: [Y]our adversary the ...


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