The Week’s Rudest, Crudest, and Shrewdest Headlines RUDOLPH THE RACIST, SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC REINDEER Yuletide is upon us, oh ye rosy-cheeked readers, and it wouldn’t be a ...

The Week’s Most Profane, Insane, and Inhumane Headlines HURRAH! WEEKLY STANDARD SHUTS DOWN Ding-dong, the bloated neocon witch is dead! Bill Kristol, best known the ...

The Week’s Most Demonic, Sardonic, and Chthonic Headlines POPE TO GAY PRIESTS: TAKE A HIKE In a new book based on an interview he gave in August, Pope Francis paused ...

The Week’s Cruddiest, Muddiest, and Bloodiest Headlines TWITTER’S GRAND INCREDIBLE TRANS DELUSION If you’re worried about getting banned from Twitter, hard experience ...

The Week's Most Defective, Subjective, and Corrective Headlines DOG ACCUSED OF RACIST HATE CRIME Since “hate” is an entirely subjective term, it should never be used in ...

The Week’s Most Diverse, Averse, and Perverse Headlines MICHELLE OBAMA: PRETTY, YOU KNOW, LIKE, DUMB Michelle Obama is easily the most famous and beloved big-shouldered ...

The Week’s Most Pornographic, Typographic, and Demographic Headlines NEVADA VOTERS ELECT DEAD PIMP As the proprietor of Nevada’s Moonlite Bunnyranch and six other legal ...

The Week’s Slimiest, Grimiest, and Hymiest Headlines MICHAEL MOORE: STILL WHITE, ANGRY, AND FAT Michael Moore is the most successful white lesbian documentarian of all time. ...

The Week’s Most Squirmy, Wormy, and Germy Headlines SINEAD O’CONNOR IS NOW ISLAM’S PROBLEM Sinead O’Connor is a mentally ill bag o’ postmenopausal bones whose ...

The Week’s Most Frenetic, Splenetic, and Apathetic Headlines ELIZABETH WARREN PROVES THAT RACE IS MORE THAN A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT By releasing her DNA results in order to claim ...

The Week’s Most Uxurious, Notorious, and Vainglorious Headlines IS HILLARY CLINTON PLOTTING A HOMICIDAL LEFTIST TAKEOVER? Although we cannot verify it, we suspect that ...

The Week’s Jazziest, Snazziest, and Spazziest Headlines KAVANAUGH CONFIRMED TO SUPREME COURT Despite the frenzied efforts of the Histrionic Left over the past few weeks to ...

COLLEGE PROGRAMS TEACH MEN TO BE LESS MANLY We live in a world where men, especially white men, feel as if they are entitled to just walk into any McDonald’s or Burger King and ...

The Week’s Most Mundane, Inane, and Arcane Headlines TWICE AS MANY ILLEGALS IN USA AS PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT For the longest time—almost since Speedy Gonzales and the Frito ...

The Week’s Most Terse, Diverse, and Perverse Headlines TUCKER CARLSON QUESTIONS DIVERSITY Anyone who understands what words mean realizes that diversity doesn’t signify ...

The Week’s Most Lyrical, Empirical, and Satirical Headlines SAUDIS BAN ONLINE SATIRE Saudi Arabia is a proud and noble kingdom known for throwing homosexuals from rooftops, ...