The Week’s Most Teachable, Reachable, and Unimpeachable Headlines ILL-STARRED INTERSECTIONALIST Somebody get that sista a rabbit’s foot! There’s bad luck, and then ...

The Week’s Most Leveled, Bedeviled, and Disheveled Headlines ACRONYMS ARE ANTI-BLACKRONYMS WTF OMG SMH. It’s only February and already the people who do the stuff that makes ...

The Week’s Most Velocious, Ferocious, and Braggadocious Headlines PRAISE RHESUS FOR A BOUNTIFUL HARVEST! Not every country is lucky enough to be situated next door to Mexico. ...

The Week’s Most Humbling, Grumbling, and Bumbling Headlines ARBEIT MACHT KRANKHEITSFREI For almost a year now, anti-lockdown protesters and refuseniks in the U.S. have dropped ...

The Week’s Most Sodden, Throdden, and Downtrodden Headlines NAZI PIANO CONCERTO, NUMBER TWO (SECOND MOVEMENT) Third Reich? More like Turd Reich. In the immediate aftermath of ...

The Week’s Testiest, Zestiest, and Unrestiest Headlines “BRED FOR SUPERIORITY” MEETS ITS POLAR OPPOSITE Well, this was a crime worthy of Ocean’s 11. Or perhaps more ...

The Week’s Shakiest, Bakiest, and Deepfakiest Headlines BLACKS BLAST BUSTED BUST 2020 was many things, all of them bad. It was the year of COVID, the year of George Floyd, the ...

The Week’s Most Trending, Offending, and Year-Ending Headlines BLACK SWAN LAKE The ballet dancers weren’t really very good—no better than anybody else would have been, ...

The Week’s Most Chiding, Abiding, and Yuletiding Headlines SOMETIMES YOU RAP THE WINDOW, AND SOMETIMES THE WINDOW RAPS YOU “When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a ...

The Week’s Most Stoned, Boned, and Bemoaned Headlines “VEE HAFF VAYS OF MAKING YOU NOT TALK.” Last week saw the 79th anniversary of Pearl Harbor, a.k.a. the day the ...

The Week’s Most Nerdy, Sturdy, and Wordy Headlines HOW DO YOU DO, FELLOW KIDS? He looks like an African F. Murray Abraham. An almost completely bald Muslim immigrant from ...

The Week’s Chunkiest, Clunkiest, and Slam-Dunkiest Headlines WAIT, TRUMP FAILED TO LOCK SOMEONE UP? NO! If there’s a single story that encapsulates the unrealized promise of ...

The Week’s Most Colicky, Frolicky, and Bollocky Headlines MS. CREOSOTE DEMANDS A RECOUNT Last week, officials finally finished counting the votes in the Sumter, S.C., mayor’s ...

The Week’s Most Vexing, Perplexing, and Witch-Hexing Headlines OCEANS SO WHITE Apparently, the field of oceanographic research has a diversity problem. If there’s a lack of ...

The Week’s Gaudiest, Bawdiest, and Voter-Fraudiest Headlines BUD-BUD-BUD-BIDEN The bitter stench of Joe Biden’s duplicitous campaign is well-seasoned with curry. Turns out ...

The Week’s Most Blazing, Crazing, and Hair-Raising Headlines “WAS IT SOMETHING WE SAID?” Some people are really slow to take a hint. After a thousand years of pogroms, ...