The Week’s Most Mauling, Enthralling, and Governor-Recalling Headlines OUR CAREER’S IN JEOPARDY, BABY! “It’s a thing that leftists swear doesn’t exist, and if you ...

The Week’s Most Canny, Branny, and Talibany Headlines DJINN LIZZY Guess who just got back today? Them wild-eyed boys that’d been away Haven’t changed, had much to say But ...

The Week’s Most Neurotic, Quixotic, and Antipsychotic Headlines GOO’BYE GOOMBAH Watching Andrew Cuomo go down (and not in the way he enjoys) is kinda like watching the fall ...

The Week’s Most Mithraic, Archaic, and Pharisaic Headlines STONE, COLD KILLER There’s no house party like a Como house party. Como is a historically black neighborhood in ...

The Week’s Most Salian, Antithalian, and Bacchanalian Headlines THE TOKYO CANCELYMPICS Please welcome the comedy team of Abbott and Kosato: Kosato: “These are not Orympics. ...

The Week’s Most Peddling, Treadling, and Gold-Medaling Headlines ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAAAAAAAAAAN! It was the most blessedly brief “mismatched roommates” sitcom in history: ...

The Week’s Most Higgling, Niggling, and Wiggling Headlines PLEASE ROCK HAMMER DON’T HURT ’EM I must admit, I didn’t think much of Andy Dufresne the first time I laid eyes ...

The Week’s Most Flailing, Bewailing, and Smooth-Sailing Headlines WACKY IRAQI HAS A FEW SCREWS LOOSE(IFER) It’s hard to believe that London was once a city in which the ...

The Week’s Most Erratic, Phlegmatic, and Morganatic Headlines BEVERLY HILLS FLOP It was the brazen daytime robbery that froze Beverly Hills in its tracks. Last March, a trio of ...

The Week’s Most Flummering, Mummering, and Summering Headlines DARK SIDE OF THE GOON The leftist war on sunlight continues! Last year, lefties in politics, the media, and ...

The Week’s Most Preening, Queening, and Juneteening Headlines INSERT BLACK PERSON HERE An odd theme running through last week’s news involved retroactively inserting black ...

The Week’s Most Pedantic, Bacchantic, and Sycophantic Headlines ZULU DAWN OF THE DEAD Two months ago The Week That Perished featured the madcap tale of Lindani Myeni, a Zulu ...

The Week’s Most Soniferous, Maliferous, and Pestiferous Headlines FATHER BIDEN CELEBRATES MASS(ACRE) Only suckas, rubes, and racists observed Memorial Day last weekend. Thanks ...

The Week’s Most Malicious, Flagitious, and Unpropitious Headlines HAMBURGLARS AND FLIMFLAMBURGLARS There have been many theories bandied about in recent months to explain the ...

The Week’s Most Sagacious, Temptatious, and Vexatious Headlines THE CHEETO BANDITO It’s a fine Saturday afternoon in Los Angeles’ historic Olvera Street shopping district. ...

The Week’s Most Idyllic, Sibyllic, and Nyctophilic Headlines JUNETEENTH IS BUSTIN’ OUT ALL OVER It’s getting harder and harder to keep up with all the black-themed ...