Taki's Top Drawer

PC Schnooks and Bureaucrooks

What does one do, go to or refuse a party after a tragic event such as the recent Paris outrage? My son happens to live next to the Place de la République, where the massacre of innocents by those nice Islamists showing off their manhood took place. He was having dinner with his two little children when the shooting started. Luckily they’re all okay, but I spent a couple of terrible hours trying to get through after the news ...

Demi Moore

‘Blind’ Ambition

Blind is an indie movie with an original screenplay by John Buffalo Mailer and directed by his older brother Michael Mailer. It stars Alec Baldwin and Demi Moore, and the cast includes yours truly. Personal feelings aside, and from all reports and rushes, this is going to be a really good one. Alec Baldwin is an old pro at this game, and his advice has been immeasurable and very much appreciated. I’ve never seen a more ...

Jean-Claude Juncker

Time to Get Tough

Leave it to the egregious New York Times to run an editorial three days after the Paris massacres defending the so-called refugees. They are not refugees but migrants, and economic migrants at that. The newspaper that only prints what its politically correct agenda allows called refusing refugees in Europe's overcrowded lands "€œmorally unacceptable."€ As morally unacceptable, I suppose, as the Times"€™ highly paid ...

Usain Bolt

Twitter Twits, Facebores, and Instagoons

Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it, said Jon Ronson, a man I’d never heard of until his quip about spaghetti. I read this somewhere, as I’ve never used social media—Twitter, Facebook, Instagram—and hope never to. Why would I, unless I wanted to make trouble for myself? Not everyone needs to know what you’re doing all of the time. Or anytime, for that matter. They say the most destructive four-letter ...

Stephanie Seymour

A Man’s Home

I have finally moved into my new flat, a jewel of a place in a pre–World War I Park Avenue building. The finishing touches won’t be finalized until Christmas 2016, as work is not permitted except for the two summer months. This is the way it should be. The past three years were agony for me while I lived in an apartment that shook all day while Jeff Koons, a so-called artist, put up a behemoth in the shape of a house ...

Henry Kissinger

The Good Doctor

A few years back I was spending the weekend with the designer Oscar de la Renta and his wife, and they took me along to dinner at a neighbor's on Saturday night. We were in rural Connecticut, and the scene and the house we visited were straight out of a Norman Rockwell illustration. The dinner party consisted of about twelve people, and my hosts were Dr. Henry and Nancy Kissinger. The wonderfully hospitable Nancy seated me one ...

Cleveland, Ohio

America, Is That You?

To Cleveland, Ohio, where mid-America’s middle class begins its great Midwest sprawl. I always wanted to visit Cleveland because the so-called sophisticates have poked fun at it. And the place does not disappoint. Beautiful municipal buildings of Fascist Roman style line the shores of Lake Erie, public libraries, city halls, opera houses, large public spaces, you get my drift. The people are friendly, unlike the aggressive ...

Long Island Unsound

Long before the word "€œoligarch"€ became a substitute for major Russian crooks and fraudsters, and a decade before Tom Wolfe invented masters of the universe, we had Wall Street Croesuses posing as gentlemen in Scottish moors. I remember it as if it were yesterday. Clay Felker, my editor at Esquire magazine, assigned me to write about this new breed of American multimillionaires who were busy shooting down everything that ...

Dan Rather

Dan, Dubya, and the Donald

As everyone knows, journalists tend to take themselves seriously, and American journalists in particular, very, very, very seriously. Dan Rather was such a man, and I use the past tense because although he’s still very much alive, he’s no longer a big shot. Dan used to read the news on American television, and was referred to as an “anchor.” Anchors in America make much more money than the president, and match CEOs of ...

Zac Goldsmith

Go, Goldsmith

I once tried to bribe Zac Goldsmith with a 50-pound note, but he didn’t bite, even back then. He was around 15 years old, and the reason for the hush money was purely self-preservation. He was already good-looking and I knew he’d become even better at 20, so I offered him 50 quid to stay 20 feet away from me during the next 15 years if he saw me talking to a girl. My bribe worked with his younger brother Ben, who grabbed ...

Seville, Spain

Civilized Living

Seville—Let’s take it from the top: Seville is one of the most beautiful cities in Europe, the capital of Andalusia, situated by the banks of the Guadalquivir River, with a history that predates Greeks and Phoenicians. (Almost as old as Milton Keynes, but slightly more exciting at night.) The place reeks of charm and old-world splendor, its palaces, cathedrals, forts, and magnificent spaces reflecting a civilization that ...

The Saudi Seduction

As everyone knows, when you cross a camel with a mule, you get a Saudi ruling family member. A camel crossed with a snake produces a Qatari ruler, and finally, a camel having made whoopee with a pig conceives a Kuwaiti sultan. Mind you, I"€™m being a bit rough on these animals, which are, after all, also God's creatures. And I do mean the camels, mules, snakes, and pigs. The great mystery, of course, is how do these feudal ...

Amsterdam

Oligarchs in a Demi Monde

If cheating is the cancer of sport, losing has to be its halitosis. I stunk up the joint in Amsterdam last week, and even managed to be thrown (a first) for my troubles. Winners, for some strange reason, never have an excuse. Losers tend to. Mine is that my opponent was born after the war, whereas I was in an age group that was born before it. The rules are that one fights opponents within five years of one’s birthday, either ...

Taki

A Most Unlikely Bird-Watcher

Gstaad—Jeremy Clarke has wiped me out again, for a change. His accounts of the high jinks on board the Spectator cruise had the mother of my children laughing out loud, something she’s not known for among those of us who consider laughing loudly a staggering breach of taste. Never mind, Jeremy’s talents and abilities to describe indescribable situations in prose that makes the reader feel on hand is a badly kept secret ...

The Mystery of Maria

Gstaad—it was the summer of 1953, in Greece. We spent two months together, had a platonic love affair, and then she got married and died soon after. She was older than me, but not by much, and I had turned sixteen that summer. Her name was Maria Agapitou, and she was a rare beauty, at least in my inexperienced eyes. An inner voice tells me to beware of nostalgia—after all, I last saw her 62 years ago—but at my age the ...

Victoria Azarenka

Advantage: Vika, Eugenie, and Steffi

Without the benefit of hindsight I write this on Monday, the 7th—Serena Williams, according to some commentators the greatest woman who has ever graced this earth of ours, will be completing the calendar-year Grand Slam of tennis by winning the United States Open. Even to my trained eye, she looks pretty much unbeatable, although tennis is a game in which one’s mind can play tricks galore. The reason I prefer martial sports ...


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