One of the downsides of being special is that you feel out of place wherever you go. I don't understand half the stuff people like and I suspect they don't either. Take cigars, for example: 1. CIGARS You don'like cigars, you like the idea of cigars. You like standing on the balcony with the other ...
On Monday, the harried horny heretic Salman Rushdie told the BBC, “A book which was critical of Islam would be difficult to be published now.” Rushdie was talking about his controversial 1988 tome The Satanic Verses, which led to the Ayatollah Khomeini issuing a fatwa against him. ...
As someone who was molested in a previous life, I have a lot of respect for Scientology. Not only does this 3.5-million-strong “Way to Happiness” offer answers that help people “clean” their souls, it’s also the only place that clearly explains why we"re all here. ...
I just flew back from the Paralympics, and boy is my arm tired. No, but seriously folks, Britain appears to be going bloody mad for the fourteenth Summer Paralympic Games, and unlike the congenital diseases that cause many of these disabilities, the excitement's contagious! I drove from Glasgow to ...
I just got back from Virginia Beach, and boy are my arms tired of gesticulating. We drove there to cover a surf competition, and spending 16 hours in a car with an all-male film crew inevitably leads to the question, "How much would you have to be paid to let a bum rape you?" The correct ...
If we"re going to bail out an entire industry, how about drive-in movie theaters? Fewer than 400 remain in America and they all need roughly $100,000 each to switch over to digital because the studios are phasing out the 35mm format. To rescue all those drive-ins would cost around $40 million. ...
Commencement speeches often give great advice on how to succeed, whom to befriend, and whom to love, but they never focus on the importance of hatred. I believe that choosing whom you will never speak to again can be as helpful as choosing whom to marry. Rational hatred has been a tool we"ve ...
Teen pop star Miley Cyrus is in the news again. I think she bared her torso or the side of her breast or picked up a Playboy or something. How shocking! How did we get here? Back in the 70s, a ten-year-old Brooke Shields appeared dolled-up and naked and it was considered high art. Today the Tate ...
During the Olympics" opening ceremony last week, the lady on the TV described the United Kingdom as "four countries: England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland." Soon after, every country in the world paraded out wearing everything from pajamas to grass. Great Britain was there ...
Liberals are not idiots. They"re just like you were when you first moved out of your parents" house. It's like their research is cryogenically frozen right before Google was invented. However, unlike extremist Muslims and Hasidic Jews, some of the things they believe are actually ...
