The Week’s Most Knowing, Crowing, and Beachgoing Headlines WILLY WONKKKA Last week the trailer for the new Willy Wonka prequel had its world premiere. Wonka stars delicate androgyne Timothée Chalamet as a young version of the eccentric chocolatier made famous by Gene Wilder (or as anyone under ...
The Week’s Most Swaying, Slaying, and Dog Daying Headlines INDIANA JONES AND THE HOLOCAUST OF INEVITABILITY Way to go, Indy. You saved Hitler. Again. In Raiders of the Lost Ark, Hitler insists on being the first to open the Ark, and if Indy had let that happen, Adolf and the entire Nazi ...
The Week’s Most Shirkin’, Twerkin’, and Fireworkin’ Headlines COMPAÑÍA DE TRES Immigration’s taken a terrible toll on American farce. Three’s Company was a pre-diversity TV show in which every episode revolved around a character misreading a situation and never asking for ...
The Week’s Most Prissy, Hissy, and Solstice-y Headlines POSTHOLIDAY BLUES (AND BLACKS) Juneteenth occupies a unique place among holidays and celebrations. With Halloween, for example, the decorations go up a month before October 31st. And on November 1st, everything’s forgotten, as folks move ...
The Week’s Leaniest, Meaniest, and Juneteeniest Headlines HE WUZ KANG With a million multiple universes, you’d think Marvel could find one with a black supervillain. It’s not like it’s so rare in ours. But just as Marvel launched the franchise for black supervillain “Kang,” actor ...
The Week’s Most Heavy Lossing, Cookie Tossing, and Betsy Rossing Headlines STATUES OF LIMITATION Where are climate activists with paint cans when you need them? The deification of blacks has turned into statuary rape. Last week in the Netherlands, a thirteen-foot statue was erected outside ...
The Week’s Most Heart-Tugging, Big-Lugging, and June-Bugging Headlines WITH FIENDS LIKE THESE There’s an old joke about a passerby who sees a Jewish man walking what appears to be a dachshund. The passerby approaches and says, “Can I pet your dog?” “Oy,” the Jew replies, “I ...
The Week’s Most Rending, Bending, and Three-Day-Weekending Headlines TO’JO MAMA (Sung to the tune of “Nagasaki”) George Soros and Pammy Price, Wok an Asian like fryin’ rice. Berkeley’s Nagasaki where the blackies smoke the cracky Then they turn you into barbecue. You take your baby ...
The Week’s Most Stunning, Cunning, and Preakness-Running Headlines NEVER AGAINESVILLE It’s to Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman’s credit that the one thing he doesn’t lie about is having a wife. Yes, it’s a real woman, not a photo that came with his wallet. Indeed, the Vindmans (Vindmen?) ...
The Week’s Most Commie, Pommy, and Flowers-for-Mommy Headlines THE FUN-HOUSE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES You’ll get a bigger hand if you can stand on your head, Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown! A Cole Porter song is the new GOP handbook. And Republicans are having regrets. Last week GOP House ...
